Forgiving

Chapter 12- Run!

Everything is turning. My surroundings, my head, my thoughts, everything. I can feel are four walls closing making me feel suffocated. Laughs and screams fill my ears. Everything gets smaller by every second. All of the sudden everything stops. Closing my eyes I scream from the top of my lungs. Why? Because I feel useless and helpless, and the least I can do is scream.

When I open my eyes I'm back to the same room. The room with no light except the moon. The room that feels haunted by my nightmares and pleads. The room in which I cry myself to sleep every night. The paint is peeling off the walls, the floor is still dirty and dusty, the furniture in the room—a bed and a broken chair, are broken.

My whole body is filled with bruises and cuts. My back stings and aches from the whips I was getting given for crying.

The door flies open and in comes my worst nightmare.

"Are you done? Or do you need to be taught another lesson?" She smirked. All my confidence had died down these past few days leaving me no choice, but to nod.

She comes close and I cower away backing up against the wall.

"Listen here you bitch, if you want Rosebelle to live—"

"Don't you fucken dare touch her!" I sneer gaining up as much confidence as I can. She slaps me and pulls out the whip.

"I hope this'll teach you to respect me." She snickers raising her hand along with the whip.

"NO!"

"NO!" My eyes snap open and I immediately sit up. Tears trickle down my face furiously. I look to my right and make sure Rosebelle is still here safe and sound. Her light snores calm me down a bit, but it doesn't stop the tears from streaming.

All of the sudden the door flies open. My dad, Juily, and the guys including the guards run inside.

"What happened?!" They shout panicked. That made me cry even more remembering what happened in my nightmare. It felt so real, it's like I could actually feel the pain, the pain, the worry. Once again in years, I feel helpless and paranoid.

"Every one out, now! Except you, Juily." My dad shouts. The nods and walk out closing the door behind them.

"Nichole, was it a nightmare?" Juily asked although she knew the answer. I didn't trust my voice so all I could do was nod.

"You want to talk about it?" She asks and I shake my head furiously, my tears streaming down my face harder and faster. I feel so weak and I hate feeling weak.

"Are you sure?" My dad asks. All the memories of how they use to abuse me replayed in my head. Only causing me to sob hysterically.

"Nichole we need to talk, remember it's not good to keep your emotions in." My dad and Juily reason quoting what my doctor use to say when I had depression. She said it would only lead me to physically hurting myself or suicidal thought. That's it, cutting myself will help me keep my thoughts and pain away. It won't hurt to do it once, right? It's not like I'm jumping off the bridge.

"Okay, we can talk tomorrow. Try sleeping." My dad said and walked out.

"Nichole—"

"I'm better now. It's okay. I'll be fine." I say. She opens her mouth to say something, but closes it sighing.

"Fine, just try sleeping it off." She said and walked out. Once I heard the door click, I got up and locked the door. Searching through my desk for scissors. I found office scissors and walked into the restroom locking the door behind me. I sat inside the tub, closing the curtain I rolled up my sleeve and placed the scissors on my wrist.