The Manila Charmers : TROY

36

Palms sweaty. Heart pounding.

Fuck. Is this really you, Troy? Hindi ka naman ganito noon di ba? You were this guy who's always hardworking and dedicated to Battens Corporation. You were keen to details. You were strict and focused.

Until she came. Boracay Zipline. I was sitting, holding on to my dear life. I felt that that would be my last life on Earth. Huling hirit na ba. She was on superman position, all smiles and so excited to fly. Hindi pa ako tapos magdasal ng Our Father nang biglang irelease ang lock at agad kaming tinangay papunta sa kabilang dulo ng bundok. She was screaming her lungs out until I joined her.

That very day I became alive.

Nagsimula na ang pagtugtog ng A Thousand Years. Her favourite piano piece. Halos araw-araw niyang kinakanta yun sa akin every time we Skyped or call each other.

The doors opened and there she was. Wearing a long-sleeved laced gown and covered with veil on a tiara. She's so beautiful. She is so angelic.

And it f*cking hurts me. I just want to die right now.

My eyes were just set on her. Napakaganda mo, Roxanne. Napakaganda na gusto kong maiyak.

I cannot understand my emotions right now. Bakit ba ako pumayag na maging best man ni Kuya? Bakit katabi ko siya at kasabay na hinihintay ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko? Anong klaseng kagaguhan ba itong iniisip ko?

Sa lahat ng pwedeng i-give up, bakit siya pa?

I was just focused on her. Ayaw kong maglakad pa siya papunta sa amin, papunta sa kanya. Kapag tumigil siya katabi ni Kuya, it only means that she is really into this wedding.

And she did. Binitawan niya ang pagkayakap ng Mama niya at tinanggap ang kamay ni kuya pumunta sa altar, leaving me behind na nakatingin pa rin sa kanya. I moved to the church seats along with my Dad. He was all smiles.

Lahat sila masaya. Lahat sila clueless sa nangyari sa pagitan namin ng bride.

They don't know how it feels to be us. They will never understand these emotions. They won't and never will.

"Trevor Joel Herrera, do you take Roxanne Marie Gonzales to be your wife for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?"

" I do. "

" Roxanne Marie Gonzales, do you take Trevor Joel Herrera to be your husband for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?"

"Roxanne?"

The priest called her name again. She was just looking at Kuya's face. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

"Roxanne Marie?"

She looked at me with tears in her eyes..

..and ran.