addicted {spencer reid}

Chapter 37

And I fall, fall, fall when it all comes down,
And I won't be crushed by the weight of this town.
I fall from the sky but I won't fall forever;
I fall but when I rise I'll be stronger than ever.
Raleigh Ritchie, "Stronger Than Ever"

Spencer's POV

Yesterday passed by quickly, and now I'm having anxiety about seeing my mom again. The last time I saw her, she was being dragged away by the sanitarium workers, tears waving down her cheeks as she begged not to let them take her.

I don't know how she's going to react when I see her. I don't know how she's going to react when she meets Courtney for the first time. I don't know how anyone is going to react, and that scares me.

Right now, we're driving to the sanitarium. Annie is in the front seat and Courtney is sitting in the back with me. I'm visibly shaky and nervous, so Courtney slides her hand across the seat so she can hold mine.

"It's going to be okay, Spence. You get to reunite with your mom again, don't be nervous. You both love each other. Love is the strongest thing, stronger than any fears," She reassures me, giving my hand a light squeeze. I nod, choosing her words to go by.

"How much longer until we get there?" Courtney asks her mom. Annie eyes the GPS, responding with 25 minutes.

I sigh, thankful for the extra 25 minutes I have before I have to face my anxiety. I rest my head on the crook of the car window, staring out into the city. The sky up ahead is bright, almost too bright to see. I can spot the tops of buildings and apartments. Some of them spiral far up to the sky, reaching for the clouds.

I didn't usually go to the city that much when I lived in Vegas. It is always packed with people and tourists, and I'm no good in crowds. My mom is even worse in crowds, so we tried to stay away from them.

The sanitarium is past the big city, in a quiet area with a lot of empty, lonely space. I've only been there once, and that was to talk to the workers before they came to take my mother away.

When they took her away, I felt terrible feelings of guilt. I felt like they were dragging her away like she was a criminal, like she did something wrong. I felt guilty that I was leaving her and taking her pride and freedom away. But, the sanitarium is a safer place for her that can help her with her disease. It took me a while to realize that the sanitarium was her safest bet, the place where she wouldn't have to worry. I realized that the most freedom she could get was from the available help there.

I'm nervous but I'm also excited to see her. All these feelings mix together in the pit of my stomach, throwing my appetite away and sending me uneasy feelings of nausea.

I'm not ready when we arrive at the sanitarium. I still feel sick to my stomach; I still feel as if this was a huge mistake.

"Okay, we're here," Annie chimes from the front seat. I breathe deeply, opening the car door and stepping onto the pavement, nervously shoving my hands into my pockets. Courtney walks around the car, linking arms with me.

"Call me when you guys are done and I'll be here to pick you up. Have fun!" Annie says, rolling her window back up and driving out of the parking lot. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to accept that this is happening.

"Are you ready to go?" Courtney asks me quietly. I shake my head.

"I think I need another minute," I respond, choking a little bit on the words. She nods, taking my wrist and forcing my hand out of my pocket. She clutches my hand tightly, reassuring me with her simple touch that everything is going to be okay.