Burnt Black

Chapter 3

After all of it, I still didn't hesitate when Aiden called.

"Hey," he exhaled the word, clearly relieved that I picked up. I was less pleased with my decision to answer him, and I think he knew that. Some days I could swear he knew me better than I knew myself.

And yet, despite the ache in my heart at the thought of him, something about his voice brought me peace. Oh, Aiden would be laughing at me right now. Something? It wasn't something. It wasn't an intangible quality that I couldn't put my finger on. No, it was just his voice. It was the voice of my best friend. I didn't know any better therapy.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "Are we okay?"

"I'm fine." I noticed that he didn't push for more; that he didn't ask about us again. He was far more patient than I. "Aiden..." I began, aggressively searching my mind for the words I wanted to say. What was it that would express how I was feeling? How could I tell him what I wanted?

"It's okay, you know." The words startled me. "It's okay if you're not okay."

Something clicked in my head. I was not okay, in many ways. But this was not what I wanted to say. My feelings and thoughts were too complex for me to sort out in this second over the phone. And, I figured, if it was okay for me to not be okay, then it must also be okay for me not to know.

"I can't..." I started, and could feel his tension through the phone. "I just don't know. I can't decide this over a phone call. I think I need to see you."

"We can do that!" I think he tried to hide the edge of excitement in his voice, but he couldn't. Not from me. And, quite frankly, I was glad of that. His excitement gave me butterflies, and when he laughed a moment later, the butterflies grew. Though, whether they grew in size or number, I didn't know. "I probably should have started off with something lighter," he confessed, and my heart hurt some more.

It didn't hurt the way it did when I was struggling over the reality of Fire Giants and their genetic presence in Aiden's blood. It was a different hurt. A good hurt. Like my heart had constricted in a melting pot of joy and sympathy and, well, love.

"You skipped right over the weather." My voice was softer than it had been before, and I think Aiden noticed, too.

"I didn't even ask you how your day went!"

"I know! I've already alerted the entire town. It's quite the scandal."

"I can never show my face again."

"The ladies are livid, of course. I'm afraid you'll have to look for courtship elsewhere."

In that moment of laughter, his pause was like a yellow light, until in a sheepish voice he continued, "I was hoping that wouldn't be a problem." Oh, how quickly traffic lights turn red.

Exasperated, I sighed. "Aiden, I can't talk about this right now. I told you, I need to see you. We need to figure this out together... and in person."

He sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. I just wish this could be easy."

"Life makes love look hard," I muttered.

"What was that?" He played innocent, of course, but I could hear the grin.

"Shut up, Aiden. You're my best friend. It means nothing."

"You just don't really hear Taylor Swift quoted platonically, you know? But I believe you. It's a common mistake, I'm sure."

"In the future don't put so much faith in song lyrics."

I've heard that in the case of hurricanes, it is always calmest in the centre. Why that was, I didn't know, but I accepted it as fact, and this fact occurred to me now. Regardless of the reasons for the storm, no matter what caused the wind and the chaos, and in spite of how it threatened to drown me, there was a centre to this storm, and that centre was Aiden. In that turbulent moment I realized Aiden was the eye of the storm. Even if it was all his fault, I was safest with him. He was where I was at peace.