i'd like to think you love me too.

Chapter 17: Reality check

Cassandra’s POV:

I was staring up at the moon from my window. Sometimes just sitting there, feeling the cool breeze against my face was as good as sitting on top of my hill and watching the waves. I needed to think analyze and decide. After I had been told, rather refreshed about my happenings at Donna’s party, I did realise a few things, Kael hadnt been around much that past week when he was with Donna. I didn’t really know or even If I did, I didn’t care enough to know anything about what he was upto. I mean Gaige makes him seem like a bad guy but really I just think that the bad guy in this situation is me. Kael had been nothing but nice to me… I mean I couldn’t really blame him nnow could I? I wasn’t exactly girlfriend of the year material.

So you know when he came upto me at school a week after I decided that it was time to go, he really was sorry about the way things had turned out. Im sure he didn’t mean to hurt me, so I wasn’t as pissed as I would have been if it were Gaige. I think it was very clear now. I did love Gaige, even after all that had happen… it was still HIM.

What was I going to do about it? I didn’t really know… I didn’t have to decide just yet right?

After Donna’s party, after Gaige had told me… I was shocked for the rest of the day. Gaige tried to force a reaction out of me… but he didn’t really get any response. I was zapped. I didn’t really know, how? Why? Or WHY? I mean I had made my choice clear right! Kael. I had picked him. But why? Why did I pick him? Yeah he is nice and perfect but I guess the mistake that I had made was that I kept comparing my past with my present that it kept me from really being fair to Kael. I guess a part of me felt relieved that Gaige hadnt really liked Donna but another part of me was happy that Kael had found someone who actually deserved him. I mean he was great but a little too great if you ask me. It gets a bit monotonous.

Hazel had asked Gaige to leave and she forced me into my bikini so that we could go for a swim in the backyard. Hazel knew just how to cure me of my well… blank situations. She knew that swimming was the one thing that would help me clear my mind. So I swam for about 3 hours, slowly ofcouse! I didn’t have a death with you know! And after I had had enough I got out and sat with my ipod.

Hazel sat beside me. She knew I would speak when I was ready to. “OKAY…. UMMMMMM  did that really happen. Or did I dream it?” I asked after listening to my retro collection twice. I couldn’t digest the facts. I hadnt gotten a call or text from Kael so I guess it was true. Alessandra had bombarded my phone with 100 calls and texts but I wasn’t ready to talk. Hazel had adviced her to chill and that she would handle the situation.

After a week of moaping round Hazel barged into my room. “Get dressed” she ordered. “What ? why?” I said as I put my hair into a messy knot.

“We are going for a party”

***

The party wasn’t all that bad. I mean apart from the drunk college students who looked like they would barf any minute, I mean they were like walking time bombs of puke! I dogged my way through and found a safe corner.

“Whats wrong?” asked Hazel as she grooved to the music. “This is too crowded!” I yelled back. She rolled her eyes and pulled me towards what seemed to be the kitchen, it was a lot quiter there.

“You have got to stop acting like the world has ended! What? Why are you acting so dramatic? I mean Cass you’re young and its not the end of the world!! Its not like anyone blames you for anything!” she said waving her hand in my face. Yep! She was drunk.

“How would you know Hazel ? I mean everything with you has been so perfect!!!” I said sitting on the counter top. I didn’t even know whose house we were in! there were so many people at this party that even if a homeless man would enter, he would go unnoticed.