The Morning Star (TMI City of Lost Souls AU)

Chapter 12 - Recovering

Clary was in and out of consciousness as Jace carried her back to the apartment, Sebastian leading them. Her eyes fluttered open as he made his way up the stairs and kicked open his bedroom door, revealing the untarnished white room. Gently, he placed her on the bed and kneeled on the floor in front of her.

"Clary? Are you alright?" His eyes didn't looked panicked, just concerned. She sat up slowly and looked into his eyes, the calm pools of gold calming her down as well.

"Yeah, I'm-I'm alright, just was hallucinating, I think," She trailed off, retreating back into her mind, remembering the shadows flying around her, the blood and flames coming from her brother's face after he- he kissed her. She remembered now. And she had let him, her stomach twisted at the thought, making her sick.

"Do you feel alright?" He must have seen her face turn shades of green and white, "Maybe you should shower, clean off." He smiled sadly and pulled his hand through her hair before cupping her face, "I'm going to do the same." And with a kiss on her forehead, he rose from his crouched position and turned to head into the bathroom, discarding his sweat drenched shirt as he walked.

She hadn't thought about it before, but now that he mentioned it, she felt disgusting. Her dress had tears by her hips and clung tight to her body with sweat. Her head was still slightly foggy from the fairie drink but she made her way out into the hallway anyway before turning into her room and shutting the door tightly behind her. She went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, wishing she hadn't. Her hair was plastered to her face, eye makeup smudged dark around her eyes, hickeys on her neck and collarbone. She flushed in embarrassment as she touched them, even though no one else was around to see them. She tore the dress free from her body and unfastened her hair, letting the rest of it fall down her back as she stepped into the shower. The water traveled down her body, seeming to pull all the sweat and dirt and stress down the drain.

After her shower, feeling immensely better, she braided her wet curls down her back and put on a pair of black shorts and pulled out an oversized navy t-shirt, most likely one of Jace's. She brought it to her face and breathed in the familiar smell of soap and sunshine that she associated with Jace and felt a sense of longing. She pulled the shirt on over her head and went to lie in the bed when her mind wandered and she stopped in her tracks. She didn't want to sleep alone, not with Jace in the other room alone in his bed. The waves of intense desire from earlier in the night had faded, now only a need for comfort arose. She quietly left her room and went to Jace's room. He was lying on the bed, one arm behind his head, slightly tilted to one side. He must have heard her come in because his eyes opened and took in the sight of her with a smile.

"If I'm not mistaken, that shirt doesn't belong to you." He smirked up at her, his face holding the same adoration for her in a baggy t-shirt and wet hair as he did when she was scantily clad and made up. It made her heart melt but also a sharp tinge of sorrow knowing that he wasn't the Jace she loved, he was possessed under the influence of Sebastian. She crawled into bed with him without making a sound, curling up against him. His face blended into one of surprise but he didn't question it, he simply brushed the loose curls that framed her face out of the way and held her close to him.

"Can I stay?" She looked up at him through her lashes and whispered quietly. He looked at her as if she was an angel among him and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Always."

***

The next day had been a blur, she had woken up with Jace's warm body wrapped around her, feeling more content than she had been in a while, but she forced herself to tear away from him. She knew she couldn't entirely lose herself in this fake life. She had spent the morning sketching in her room and finding odd things to occupy her mind, such as organizing the closet by color and thumbing through random books on the shelf. She hadn't gone downstairs, hoping to avoid Sebastian, but she felt guilty. She knew he wouldn't be happy she was evading him, but she didn't know what else to do. She felt such an internal conflict within herself, her mind was telling her one thing but her gut was telling her another. She lay on the floor now, her hair falling out of its braid and sprawled out around her head like a halo. Her mind was wandering when she remembered her friends back home and tried to will her thoughts to Simon.

Sim- She couldn't even think through one full word before the door opened up before her. Her stomach clenched, bracing for who it was going to be. It was Jace, and her stomach relaxed, the tightness that built up had faded away.

"Clary, are- Why are you on the floor? Anyways, are you at least going to come down for dinner? You've been locked up in here for hours." His voice sounded a little concerned and irritated. Dinner?! How long had she been in there? She looked at the clock on the counter and sure enough, although she had no idea what time zone it was on, it was quarter past 5.

"For one, it wasn't locked, just shut. I was entertaining myself!" She spoke with a cheery tone and then lowered her voice to a murmur, "Or trying to, at least. And yeah, I'll be down. Give me a minute." She bounced up off the floor and grabbed a pair of jeans and a black tank top that hung loosely on her small frame. She pulled her hair out of its disheveled braid as she followed Jace downstairs, her red hair flowing out in beachy waves.

Once she got to the bottom of the stairs, she saw Sebastian sitting at one end of the table, picking at his food. He looked bored and very irritated. He looked up as Clary came over to sit at the table next to him.

"Oh look, she's alive. I was beginning to wonder if you had drowned in the shower." His words had a harsh cut to them, and she flinched slightly.

"No, you'd have run out of water by now I'm sure," Jace joked, she began to eat her food timidly but couldn't help notice the corner of Sebastian's mouth twitch in amusement. As much as he bossed Jace around, he seemed to genuinely enjoy his company. She was sure if she had been alone all her life as Sebastian had, she would cling to any connection she could get too. Even so, it was forced. Sebastian glanced at the kitchen clock and turned to Jace with a sinister look of satisfaction.

"Jace, it's time." Jace's mouth twitched as he stood up.

"Time for what? What's going on?" Clary was looking between them frantically, "You told me you would tell me these things, remember?" Sebastian shot her an angry glare.

"Maybe if you had bothered to speak to me today, I'd be more inclined to tell you what is going on. I was going to let you go with him, but now I'm not so sure." He snapped at her.

Clary could feel her face burn, looking down, "I'm sorry, I- I wasn't feeling all that great. Please let me do this, just let me prove to you-" She didn't even have to finish, his face lit up, a devious grin breaking across his face.

"You want to prove yourself to me, Clarissa? Alright. Come here," She slowly stood up and went over to Sebastian, standing above him as turned in his chair to face her, "You're going to go with Jace to pick up the Infernal Cup. It has been crafted. You are going to go fetch it from Sister Magdalena," He pulled her waist until she was sitting on his lap and whispered in her ear, "And you're going to kill her."