Brustoff• idk title

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Another story from my general band oneshot book / trans au

*Denis' POV*

I stood in the middle of the crowded bar, bar scenes weren't my favourite, especially when someone would try to get in my pants and I had to explain I have a vagina. It makes for an uncomfortable night. But Dusty dragged me along, saying he heard rumours of famous people going there, but Dusty hears "rumours" all the time, are they ever true? No, but some days I'm too tired to fight back so I let him drag me with him. Which is how I'm here, sitting on an uncomfortable leather bar stool, a beer in hand and no sign of Dusty. He had gone off awhile ago, saying he would be back in a few, chances are he picked someone up and is either doing it in the bathroom or left, I can't be bothered to look for him.

A few men make their way towards the bar, they end up right beside me, they start ordering drinks and I hear British accents, I'm always a sucker for accents, even when I was little, I always loved them. Which annoys a lot of people, maybe it's because I have a strong accent? Who cares.

After awhile I'm contemplating getting up and leaving, but then I realize I left my phone with Dusty by accident and I can't drive because I've drunk alcohol. "Fuck" I whisper to myself, I would hate to walk home. "What's on your mind? A fairly attractive man asks me, sexy British accent and all, okay, maybe some people wouldn't find it attractive, but like I said, I'm always a slut for accents. "Nothing, just realized my ride is gone" I smile, looking at my watch 12:08, damn, it is way past my home time. "Do you need a ride?" He asks, "no thanks, I've been taught to not accept rides from strangers" I joke around "What if I told you I had candy?" He says, chuckling after and taking a swig from his beer. "I'm Denis" I tell him "Ben" he replies "where you from Denis?" He asks me a second later "Ukraine, you?" "England" he tells me, "what brings you here?" I ask him "I'm in a band and we are touring" he explains, "that's cool" I comment "not really, especially when our bus breaks down and now we are stuck here for awhile" he exclaims. "You just need to have some fun, we have lots of fun things to do here" I tell him, hopping off the stool "care to dance?" I ask and he nods, I take his hand and lead him into the dance floor.

We face each other and we sway around to the music, laughing, Ben drinking from his bottle and me stealing sips. He excuses himself to get a drink and I find myself leaning against the wall, what am I doing? "Here is a favourite beer of mine" Ben says as he gets back, handing me a bottle, I take a swig and it's pretty good. We finish our drinks and now I'm buzzed. I don't let myself get this drunk especially without someone around. "Let's dance!" I yell over the music and leading him back to the dance floor. I start grinding against him as the music plays. I'm smiling to myself when I feel a friend coming out to play.

After awhile he is tugging me towards the bathroom and we are both giggling. He pulls me into the male bathroom and his lips crush mine. We are feverishly grabbing at each other, I'm pulling off his jacket and he is pulling off mine. He pushes me into the door, grinding against me and letting out a strangled moan.

He starts tugging at my shirt and him trying to pull it up sobers me up real quick.

Here's the thing... I wasn't born a guy. I was born Denise, not Denis, and I haven't gotten any surgery done. So I'm wearing my binder now. Sure I'm taking testosterone, but that doesn't just make me grow a dick and have my boobs dissolve (I wish) and I gasp, grabbing his hands. "B- Ben" I choke out, suddenly becoming very aware of the situation I've gotten myself into. He buries his head into my neck, kissing it. I melt into it a bit "Ben" I say, a little more firmly "mmm" he answers back. "I- I can't" I whisper and he pulls away, giving me a quizzical look. "I-" I don't know where to begin "I have a thing" I tell him "what type of thing?" He asks me, his hands still on my waist, I close my eyes and hold my breath as I pull my shirt up.

Binder, scars and all. You see, I didn't have the best upbringing, my parents accepted me being trans, but didn't accept me not wanting to do high school and such, I also got bullied a lot for being trans so there was some days where I... cut. I regret it with all my heart. "You're..." He trails, I cover my face, out of embarrassment and out of protecting myself. He puts his hands on mine and pulls them away. He is looking me in the eyes, they are soft and a beautiful smile is thrown across his face "don't be scared of me" he says and I nod, still a little cautious. "You're a great guy Denis, I'm sorry that people have hurt you" he says "how did yo-" "your first instinct was to cover your face and your stance gave away that your body was protecting itself" he says and I give a weak smile. He gives me a large smile and quirks an eyebrow "now... where were we?"

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