Land of Loss and Love; Thranduil Love Story (On Hold)

Winter Nightmares

     The blinding white, that's the first thing I saw. A white so pure and soft it had never been disturbed by a mortal soul. The forest was pine trees and snowflakes, falling on the clearing where I was standing. Or rather floating.

     I wasn't actually here, in that strange way dreams are, I was an observer. Not meant to be in the dream, but watch it.

     At first, I thought I was alone, put here to float in this place, staring up at the pale white sky, eyeing the snowflakes as they played in the air.

     I wasn't worried, I wasn't anything. I didn't feel anything, no sensations, no emotions. But something tugged at me and I blinked -or didn't I? I couldn't tell- and was suddenly in the middle of the clearing a mere inches away from a person.

     He was kneeling in the snow, head down, holding something in his arms delicately and preciously. His blond hair cascading over his broad shoulders, and I had the strange feeling of wanting to hold him. I saw -or was I told?- that the thing he was holding was a body, but calling it a body was being generous. The sickly yellow skeletal remains were hardly a body, no trace of clothes, skin or artifacts remained. The only sign it was once a girl were the few strands of frizzled dryed hair still clinging to the skull.

     The scene usettled me, but I didn't know why. And there was a distant ignored tug of wanting to leave, to run. But I stayed. And I watched, observed, as I was meant to.

     Watched as the mans head turned to me. And finally I felt fear as his lifeless eyes cut into me. His pretty mouth a gape with despair, his dead blue eyes wide.

     A knife was in his chest and as I watched with horror, blood poured from the gouged hole, soaking the bones he held and the snow beneath him.

     I was given his story, the purpose. He was forced to live forever while everyone he loved died and rotted around him. An Immortal soul in a mortal world.

     Finally, a scream was ripped from my throat, and I pushed, pushed as hard as I could to get away. Far, far away.

     I woke up screaming, throwing myself from the cot and onto the floor, where I slammed into Thranduil who was kneeling next to me, his hands on my shoulders. I was pleased at the concern he portrayed for me, but it was swept away by panic at the sight of him kneeling on the floor, holding me.

    The fear from the dream, from the memory of him exactly like this came back and I shoved him away from me, scrambling back toward the cot, feeling the comfortable stab when I slammed my back into the wood.

     "No! Stay back! Get away from me!" I didn't want to relive that dream again, the horror, the grotesque nightmare of him, why had I not realized it was him?

     I looked at him and although the pain I saw in his eyes from my outburst hurt, I couldn't help but see the lifeless blue and gaping mouth.

    A whimper escaped and I folded into a ball, shaking and covered in sweat.

     A blanket was draped across my shoulders and although I was burning up, I had to make myself remember that I was in a simple tent(not a forest) that was set up outside(not a clearing) in a frigid winter. Another whimper betrayed me.

     "Aeolus." The sound of his voice slapped me back into reality and out of the blood soaked snow. "Aeolus." Once more he said my name, and finally I was dragged back. My shaking subsided, my breathing slowed, though it was still much faster than normal.

     "I'm fine." It was barely a whisper, I couldn't do louder, not yet.

     A hand took my chin and I let it raise my head. He knelt next to me on one knee and I saw that he was in armor. A cup was put to my lips and I drank fullheartedly, thankful for the cool liquid squenching the heat in my throat. How long had I been screaming? how long had he tried to wake me?

     "I'm sorry." My voice was hoarse, scratchy, and I flinched at it. Reassuringly, he didn't. "It was a nightmare. I have never had one so-" I choked, and almost broke down.

     He was about to say something, but a horn sounded, catching his attention and changing his face entirely. "Stay here and rest. if you need anything, the guards outside will assist you." He got up to leave, but hesitated and knelt back down... and kissed me.

     My brain exploded, but it was all fuzzy feelings and colors and things that didn't make sense. I felt the butterflies like the stories talk about, I saw the light, I felt his soft lips, his experienced tongue, his forcefulness, demanding way he held me. And god did I reply. But the kiss was so strong, so needy that it didn't feel right at all. And my happy feelings turned sour. This was a goodbye kiss.

     When we parted, and he leaned his head against mine(I was breathless, of course, and he wasn't, damn him) I tangled my hand in his silky hair, finding the back of his head and cupping it.

     "I'm coming with you."

     "No." It was a readied response, and I cursed him for knowing what I would say, and yet it warmed me that he understood my reactions. He stood up and strode over to a dummy next to the wine table that wore a cloak.

     "I want to be there. You cant keep me here." Stripping the dummy of the only clothes it wore, he draped the cloak over his armor, somehow fastening it to his shoulders. He didn't reply. "Those men are my friends, and I know Bilbo is with them. I need to make sure they're safe."

     "No. You are staying here. I am not risking your life."

     "I can risk it myself if I choose to. It's my life." It was a stupid thing to say and by the look he gave me, he found it stupider.

    He left the tent without a word, and I raced after him, but was stopped by two guards who blocked my path.

     I watched him walk away on the snow-covered cobblestones.

   I'm currently trying to find someone to design an image of Thranduil all haunty, but until then I'm stuck with what I got.