Fly Girl | [Novel] (Wattpad Version)

47| All By Herself

"Of course you do, and I won't go back on my word. Did you get the recording rights for the song I told you about the other day?"

"Yeah. Jimmy Jam and Ms. White both gave their blessings. What's going to be the song you actually release though?"

"That one. Thanks Boo, now let's get to work."

And that's just what we did. Every so often, I would stop myself; feeling out of place, as if I were messing up things that should have been second nature to me, whether I'd been recording frequently or not.

"I feel like you right now; I can't figure out what you believe you're doing wrong."

"Aside from fucking up notes. What you mean?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Marliss spoke in a dry and monotonous tone. "All you have to do is mimic the original artist's voice. It won't be hard for you to hit the notes then." He was exhausted, as was I, but what we were doing was not working out the way I wanted.

"I don't want to mimic hers. I spent the majority of my time in Fly Girl avoiding certain notes, or singing well below my actual vocal abilities to avoid comparisons."

"Shit, that's news to me. If that wasn't you giving a hundred percent, I'm scared to hear a hundred."

"Those vocals are a strong eighty-five point one, but that's beside the point."

"The point I'm trying to make is that Perfectionist Troy needs to chill. Where is One Take Troy."

"Somewhere in Fly Girl Hell." He rolled his eyes, but I was serious. I was notorious for one takes, when Chauncey wasn't producing or watching us record. However, that was because most producers and arrangers came in stating what they wanted... and if they got good enough or close to it, they were good. Most sessions, I was giving the bare minimum. This time, for my own thing, I want to give my all. "Look, I'm just tired of holding myself back, I guess. If I'm going to do this, I might as well go all in, right?"

"Why would you have ever held yourself back in the first place? That's what I'm not understanding. And that's what shocks me, what has always shocked me now that I think about it."

"You mean the differences between studio and live performances."

He nodded. "Yeah. Y'all vocals in studio and live are totally different, and it's what set y'all apart from other acts. Like, no one could ever say y'all were just studio singers."

I suppose, if anyone has to know this one secret, it may as well be him. "I held back because I was told to once or twice before, and after that it became natural to do so. Especially on the songs where I was in the background. You know, Ava saying people told her she was the weakest singer, that was never a lie. I never intentionally sung over anyone, however... I'm a baby Patti LaBelle when it comes to that. It's natural for me to sing louder. Or it used to be anyway. And to stretch my notes and do runs, and enunciate and sing like I'm in somebody's choir doing a solo. It used to be natural for me to show my full ability, sing in every octave, rather than just one or two before whistling every now and then."

"You've only ever hit those whistle type notes live though."

I nodded. "Because, doing so on the actual album might have overshadowed my co-lead or whoever was singing lead, if it wasn't me. I just avoided it altogether. Same with Torii anytime she said no to them wanting her to sing like Anita Baker. She can, and it's beautiful to listen to, but she avoids it. Mine and Torii's voices naturally ..." I paused, trying to think of the right way to word it without sounding full of myself. "...stand out over others. And because Leann is a rapper, and because Ava has a smaller voice and sings in soft tones and keys, with limited registers, it's obvious. To me, I never thought of it as them being bad. Ava CAN sing. Leann CAN sing when she wants to, they just aren't 'strong' in those areas and I was told to make it easier for them and their egos. So I did. Chauncey told me hold back. Brandy told me hold back, and eventually I just started doing it every session; even when I sung lead."