Mosaic Broken Hearts-A Ross Lynch Story

something good and right and real

Nikki's POV:

"Ok, I think that's everything," I announced, looking around the room to be sure there weren't any boxes I'd missed.

"Are you sure you don't want to take anything else?" Ross questioned, looking at just 1 box full of things I wanted to take to college with me.

I nodded. I wanted to leave behind as much of my former life as I could. Nothing to remind me of my parents' unhappiness or my mom's newfound alcoholic issues. I wanted to start over. "I don't need much." Was all I said in response.

He nodded, understanding how fragile of an issue this was for me. "You ready?" He asked.

While I packed up my room, he'd looked up a hotel nearby that we could stay in for the next few nights. We'd originally planned to stay here until I left for school, but with what happened with my mom just hours ago, there was no way we were willing to stay any longer than necessary. 

I walked to the door and took a final look at the room that was only mine for a matter of minutes. But I realized I didn't even want it for any longer. "Let's get out of here," I said, but it came out as a mere whisper.

Walking through the hall and into the living room, I half expected my mom to be there, apologizing frantically and begging for forgiveness.

But of course, she wasn't.

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By the time we got to the hotel, I felt drained. Physically and emotionally. I silently slipped my shoes off and climbed into the warm, inviting bed.

Ross and I didn't said a word on the drive over. He'd just offered me his right hand, keeping his left on the steering wheel. I accepted the warmth of his skin against mine, entwining our fingers slowly, and turned to look out the window the entire way to the hotel.

I sank into the bed and pulled the thick blanket all the way up to my chin. Although it wasn't cold enough to need covers at all, they gave me a sense of comfort. I absently watched Ross roll his suitcase into a corner and run a hand through his hair.

"I'm gonna get the rest of the stuff from the car," he said, turning towards the door.

"Please don't go," I heard a voice whisper, but quickly realized it was mine that said the words. It wasn't until then that I knew I didn't want to be alone right now. 

He brought his eyes to mine from across the room and I saw a pain behind them that I'd never seen before. I felt a tear slip from my eye and I looked away, burying my face in my arms.

Before I knew it, he was next to me. His arms were around me and he was pulling me into his lap.

He laced his fingers through my hair and drew circles on my knee with his thumb. "Talk to me, Nik," his voice was gentle, prodding me to tear my walls down.

He left my silence alone, knowing that I would talk when I was ready. Minutes passed as I gathered my thoughts, trying to put into words what I was thinking and feeling.

I began slowly, voice shaky. "My family has always been broken," the words came before I even thought them, "but I never thought it would end up this way."

I felt like more tears would follow, but none did. I almost felt numb, like I was used to my family being this way that there was nothing they could do to hurt me even more.

"I know," he said softly, soothingly stroking his fingers through my hair.

I lifted my head from his shoulder and studied his eyes. "I'm sorry that you had to be there for all of that," I said, voice cracking.