Mosaic Broken Hearts-A Ross Lynch Story

if you wanna go, just go.

RYDEL'S POV:

It's been over a month since Ross and Nikki broke up. It's been hard for my little brother and it's broken my heart to see what he's been going through. Over the past few days the boys convinced him to not try to contact her-that it would just cause him more pain if she didn't want to speak with him. I disagree with them.

Over the months that her and Ross were together, I got to know Nikki very well. She cared very deeply for my brother and I had a feeling that this was difficult for her too. Plus, my brothers are just boys who haven't experienced love and can't really understand what he's going through.

So I decided: if Ross wasn't going to reach out to her, I would. Maybe it wasn't my place, but I figured the worst that could happen would be her saying she didn't want to speak with him. At this point, things couldn't get much worse.

I texted her the day after her graduation asking how she's doing but she never replied. I knew she was ignoring me because of Ross. Maybe she thought he sent me to check up on her or maybe it was just too hard for her to talk to her ex's sister. Whatever it was, I wouldn't accept it. So today, when the boys went out and I was left in the bus alone, I called her. I didn't want any of them to know what I was doing for fear of them trying to stop me.

On the 6th ring, I had a feeling that she wasn't going to answer. But just as I thought it was going to voicemail, she finally answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Nikki. It's Rydel," I stated in greeting.

"Rydel." She stated my name, no emotion. She sounded surprised it was me, like maybe she'd deleted my number from her phone? I didn't read too much into it, though. Finally she said, "How are you?"

I smiled to myself at her formality, "I'm good but I think the real question is how are you?"

There was a piercing silence on the other end and that was my answer. She eventually admitted, "I've been better." 

I took a seat on the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?" I offered.

I heard her take a deep breath and she spoke slowly. "I don't know, sometimes I just feel like I made a mistake by breaking up with him. He was such a big part of my life and he was so good to me..." She trailed off, then her voice got softer, shakily saying, "It's strange to talk about it all in the past tense, like it doesn't even matter anymore. I don't know," she said again, "It's just been hard on me."

I let a moment pass, processing everything she said. I knew Ross would be mad at me for telling her what I was about to tell her, but I felt I had to. So I revealed, "Honestly, it's been hard on Ross too. He's pretty torn up about all of this." 

"Really?" She asked. I heard a tinge of surprise in her voice.

"Yeah," I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "I've never seen him like this. It's difficult to watch."

I was about to continue, but she spoke first. "Listen, Rydel, as much as I'd like to talk to you about this, it hurts to hear that he's hurting and it might make things worse to know how badly I broke his heart." She swallowed hard. "I don't want to be rude, but did you call for something specific?" Her tone was suddenly rigid. She was trying to sound confident, but I could hear the pain behind her voice.

I understood what she said. And I definitely didn't want to make things worse for her. I just had to tell her what I originally called to tell her. "Sorry," I apologized quickly, fearful that she would hang up if I didn't talk fast. "There is a specific reason I called. Um I'll just be blunt and get straight to the point." I took a deep breath and spilled, "Ross is miserable. He misses you and I know he wants to talk to you but my brothers convinced him otherwise."

There was a long pause before she said. "Ross can do what he wants. If he really wanted to talk to me, he would've." She didn't sound convinced. "You don't have to blame your brothers." Her voice was softer this time and I could hear the sadness in it.

I shook my head. "Listen, you don't have to believe me about any of this. But I want to help you guys make this right. Because I have a feeling he's not the only one who is miserable right now." When she didn't reply, I continued. "I'm sending you tickets to our concert next week. If you want to talk to Ross or at least want to see him in person and decide how you feel, then come.

There was a long pause and I thought that the phone call had dropped. "Nikki, you there?"

She didn't answer my question but instead quietly spoke, "I'm scared that seeing him will hurt even more."

I was about to respond, but she continued. "I'm scared that he won't want me back. And worst of all I'm scared that he won't forgive me for breaking up with him." Her voice was lowered to a whisper and it sounded like she was holding back tears.

I took a deep breath, biting back tears myself, and gently said. "You'll never know if you don't try."

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Nikki's POV:

A few days later, I got an envelope in the mail with my name on it and Rydel's name in the corner. I sighed, knowing this was the tickets she told me about. I still hadn't decided for sure what I was going to do or what I wanted to do.

Over the phone, she had nearly convinced me. But over the past few days I kept going back and forth in my head, weighing the pros and cons of going.

I opened the envelope and three separate pieces of paper slid into my hand: one ticket to their show in Florida tomorrow night, a boarding pass for a flight tomorrow afternoon, and a handwritten note from her.

It read: Please consider it. I hope to see you soon.

I sat down on the couch and buried my head in my hands. What was I supposed to do? What would I even say to him if I decided to go? The last time I saw him we were so in love. The last time we talked, I broke up with him. How was I supposed to apologize for that and expect him to forgive me?

Rydel was right: I am miserable. And according to her, Ross is too. I could potentially make this all better by going to see him. Or I could make this mess a thousand times worse.

I shook that thought out of my head because it wasn't true. Worse? How could things get worse? It's not like we even ended on good terms. Maybe at the very least I could get some closure and we could act civil toward each other. Of course that wasn't what I wanted, though.

I wanted him back. I needed him back.

I stared at my phone that had been silent for too long and I made up my mind. I couldn't go on like this without talking to him. Rydel was right. I had to at least try. And hope for the best.