two moons ❦ calum

❦ chapter fifteen ❦

the car ride was nearly silent, but for once it was a sound that the two females could handle. there was no intensity in the small sumptuous vehicle, so Flossy could actually breathe easily for once while she was in the presence of the woman who raised her.

though she appreciated the silence, she mentally calculated just how much time she'd have left to have a functioning conversation with her. it felt less like reality in that moment; even though she believed Rosemary's earlier confession, she still was fearful that she'd pull up to school and hear an alarm clock that woke her up from this all too happy dream. so she asked, "if you don't hate me anymore, who do you put the blame on now?"

instead of making it easy, of course Mrs. Black had to respond with, "who do you think I cheat on every chance I get?"

"my father isn't a terrible man." it wasn't Flossy's pity that led to her defense of his character. it was just a reminder of the evidence supporting him.

"you're right, he's not. but the man who you have half of is not the same man with a bottle of liquor in his hand at the end of the day."

wordlessly, Flossy agreed with her mother, for once in her seventeen years living with her. she always knew that alcoholism was a sickness, especially when the person was in as deep as her father was. it was more plausible to say that Donny Black married a glass bottle then it was to say that he married Rosemary. the weight of that thought hit Flossy so hard that she began to mockingly laugh.

"God," she exasperatedly started, "this family is so fucked up." her mother laughed in response and seemed to not fully understand the depth in her daughter's words. "I'm serious. Chessie eats less and less every day. dad is a drunk. you're a sex addict. I can't keep anyone long enough to let them in and see the real me, without all the leather and the attitude. we're a mess. and despite the recurring salary between the two of you, it can never be enough for good enough therapists for all of us."

almost as if she was distracted by another thought, Rosemary admitted, "we all have our own ways of coping, love. some are just less destructive than others." and with that, she snapped back into reality and decided to inquire, "is that boy next door the reason why you suddenly no longer have that golden light in your eyes?"

Flossy almost felt ashamed for the expression of her feelings towards the mentioned male. she blamed it on the way that her mother used to use the things she loved against her. in reality, she was ashamed because she had the best thing she would ever get in the palm of her hand but, through selfish motives and egos, lost him in the sea of others clawing at his throat and trying to drown out the real him. wistfully, she looked out the window at the approaching hell and told her, "he's so many of the reasons why I'm not the person I used to be anymore."

not really wanting to talk anymore about the feelings locked away in the metallic heart in her chest, Flossy told her mother to pull over to where the sidewalk to the front doors started. she explained that she needed a few minutes of peace before she absolutely had to enter. instead, she played a badass playlist on 8tracks and lit a cigarette until the first period bell rang. she didn't open the front door until the color and sound excused themselves from both her cigarette and playlist. she was half an hour late and three cigarettes lighter.

❦

the English class had seen many weird things through the duration of their year. a very heterosexual jock cross dressed for a day because he lost a bet and still got a girlfriend out of it. another very heterosexual jock turned out to be not as into girls as everyone had thought. even one student who was named Joe at the beginning of the year came back from winter break a whole new person by the name of Joanna. but despite all this, nothing was as weird as the baddest bitch in the game sitting in the front of the classroom whereas her nerdy paramour sat in the back with the rest of the jocks and donned a varsity jacket specifically for the soccer team.