Shatter

Chapter 33: Always For You

Chapter 33: Always For You

After I cleared the air with Zara Spring Break passed along quickly and happily. With nothing to feel guilty about or holding any secrets from her, I was myself. The only problem with that was that it made time go by quickly. It seemed as though as soon as she got there she had to leave again. 

It was hard to say good bye to my best friend. I was just glad she left on good terms this time. No fighting or storming out, just a simple goodbye between friends that ended in a promise to see each other soon.  I couldn't wait until Zara joined us in Rhode Island the next semester when she attended RISD. Z, Anna, and I even planned to get a place together when she was ready to move down. I knew already that next year was going to be great. 

I was getting ready for my first day back to classes. Again, it was Monday. I didn't even know how long exactly it had been since I had spoken to Adam. I missed him. There was no denying the yearning I felt in my heart. I wanted to see him, and to touch him. I couldn't. I would only continue hurting him until I was ready to tell him the truth. 

The day passed somewhat quickly until art. I was drawing when the teacher excused us. I was cleaning up my area and looked to the door to see a familiar sight. Adam. He was in the door frame, watching me. I turned quickly and shoved all of my things onto a shelf so I could go to him. When I turned back he was gone.  He was there, I knew it. My mind flashed back to shortly after Conner's death. In the rain I had sworn I'd seen him standing there, waiting for me. Was this just wishful thinking getting the best of me again? If there was any chance it really was him, I needed to see him. 

I took my bag and ran toward the door, he wasn't in the hall. I walked down the hall searching every room. Nothing.  I exited the building. I saw him. I wasn't imagining a thing. He was really there, watching me earlier. Now he was halfway across the courtyard, walking. I marched behind him trying to catch up. 

"Adam?" I asked after him. He kept walking. The situation was reminiscent of our last conversation, in the courtyard when I had chased after him crying. I was so desperate then. It was a painful memory, the thought of it made me want to give up. 

"Adam!" I screamed. He stopped.  He turned slightly toward me, probably expecting to find me crying. I wasn't. I only screamed to get his attention. Still, he didn't speak. I walked up to him. When I was face to face with him he hung his head low. I grinned. 

"Hi," I said.  

"Hey," he mumbled.  

"How are you?" I tried to sound positive and reassuring, as he always had for me. 

"All right, I guess. You?" He still hadn't looked up. 

"I'm fine," I told him. "So..." 

"I have to go to class," he said as he brushed past me. I couldn't let him walk away. 

"Wait!" I exclaimed and followed. He turned my way. I could see why he hid his face. He had a black eye. 

"Oh my gosh, Adam! What happened?" I asked. I was concerned. I brought my hand up to touch his face. He pushed it away before I could make contact. 

"It's nothing. I've got to go." He turned back and walked into the building. I followed, sitting in my usual seat far from him and the rest. Mel took the seat next to me, which was a refreshing change I needed.  I spent the entire class wondering about Adam. About how he got that black eye and why he acted that way. I thought back to when we'd first met. He was acting just like me.  

He was acting like me when I was broken. When my heart and soul were shattered into a million pieces I pushed everyone away. I pushed him away, as he had just done to me. What helped me then and ultimately changed me was his willingness to push me in that direction. His optimism and charisma helped me more than I knew. I never showed gratitude for him, because I never fully understood his impact on my life. I knew from his behavior that he was going through something. He needed me now more than ever.