Shatter

Chapter 23: Another Sunny Day

Chapter 23: Another Sunny Day

"Ellie, are you ready to walk to English?" Adam stood before me, his gaze all too familiar. I stood, shocked by my innermost thoughts. I struggled to find my voice, luckily Anna's was loud enough for the both of us.  

"Yeah, she's ready. Class had been over for a bit, she just hasn't moved." She nudged me, breaking me from my realization. "Thanks for giving me a ride tonight, by the way," she added. 

"No problem." He smiled at her. 

"I'm done. Let me just grab my stuff."  

"Okay, I'll be right outside." He grinned and walked out the door. Anna turned to me. As I unclipped my drawing from the easel I tried to avoid actually looking at it. I quickly rolled it up and put it near my work area, like it didn't matter. It wouldn't affect me. 

"Is everything all right? You kind of spaced out for a sec." 

"I don't know, Anna. I thought it was. I don't even know what happened." I paused, trying to grasp the situation. "I was just drawing, I didn't know who it was. When the eyes were done I saw Conner, I knew it was him. But then you said they looked like Adam's and I became confused." I breathed deeply. "I just don't get how I could mix them up?" 

"Are you going back there again Ellie? To the, you know, bad place? It's okay if you are?" She rubbed my back in an attempt to comfort me. I almost succumbed to the need to say yes, that the bad thing was happening again, I was becoming a shell. But I didn't.  

"No, I'll be fine. I just need to distract myself. Don't want to bum you out on your birthday." I forced a smile and ruffled Anna's hair with my hand.  

"Okay, but don't force yourself, okay? If you need time, take it. I don't care what day it is." 

"Thanks, Anna. But really, don't worry. I'm fine." We walked out the door in unison. One would never guess that one of us was walking out with a heart so heavy it could sink a ship. I would tell no one of my inner anguish, it would only bring unwanted attention. I was good at pretending. I was fine.  

English was awkward, to say the least. I sat next to Adam, as per usual. He tried talking to me before class, I feigned a migraine and insisted on going straight to my seat, in silence. He obliged, I knew he would. Melissa had ditched class to go shopping with Julie and Noelle for a dress for dinner tonight. Why she needed new clothes to eat pizza was beyond me, but I was grateful for one less person to convince.  

During the lecture he smiled whenever we exchanged glanced, he always did. Maybe he hadn't noticed anything. I hoped he believed my excuse. After class I grabbed my bag and walked so fast out the door I may as well have been running. 

"Ellie! Hey, wait for me!"  I had a feeling he would follow me, that's why I ran, but he caught up to me. I stopped and turned to face him. 

"What's up?" I asked. 

"What time should I pick up you and Anna tonight?" 

"I think we're meeting everyone around seven, so any time before then is fine." I smiled, trying to keep up the ruse that I was completely normal. 

"Is everything all right?" He asked.  I was taken aback. How could I have forgotten that when it came to me, this guy had x-ray vision. Nevertheless, I kept the act going. 

"Everything's great!" I made sure to smile ever so brightly as I spoke. I needed to change the subject, fast. "I'm just so excited about tonight. Aren't you?" I asked. 

"Sure," he said hesitantly, sounding more like a question. 

"Pizza's great, isn't it? I added, leaving him with more confusion on his face. "Well, I'll see you tonight, then!" I waved and rushed toward my car. He could have been waving back, or following, but I didn't look back.  When I returned to the dorm I could sense something was off. Anna didn't greet me at the door, she didn't yell 'Welcome home' and there was no music being played. It was quiet.