Summer's Heat //editing

Why?

Hey guys! I was up until 2 or 3 writing this(I start to get lazy) but anyways enjoy!

"Why did you do this to yourself", I said to Ray he had finally reached consciousness after two weeks, I spent the 4th of July here waiting for him to wake up and now that he's awake those are the only worlds I could say. He was hesitant to answer, his voice was raspy and quiet when he finally spoke, "I wanted to die", he said then coughing and taking a deep breath, it was surprising to hear those words come out of his mouth, it was like hearing bad news from your best friend. "And I feel the same way about you too", he added. I quietly nodded maybe he didn't know what he was saying, I inched my hand closer to his and rubbed my hand back and forth against his hands, he flashed a smile at me I acted I didn't see him pretending to pay attention at the TV,

"Susanna", he said looking at me and grabbing my hand tighter."I think I'm in love, with you"

Was I hearing this correctly? Or was I dreaming? Rayel Gibson loves me? My heart was beating a million miles faster than usual and I started to get sweaty, "Ray, just go back to sleep", I said taking my hand away.

"I'm aware of what I'm saying!", he said as he started to sit up.

"Ray you don't even know me!"

"I do know you! I know that you love my so-called life and Claire Danes is basically you, I know you hate looking at yourself in the mirror because it's makes you sick, and I know you love me too because you've said it!", he said staring dead into my eyes, it was like the first time we met, only this time his eyes looked painful and sorrowful I felt like crashing my lips on to his, and I could tell he wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to, but even if we liked each other it wasn't the right thing to do. We just looked into each others eyes I looked into his blue eyes and he looked into my deep brown eyes. He pulled in for a kiss each millisecond he got closer and closer, our lips were inches away from kissing.

"I-i can't, I'm sorry", I said running out of the hospital room.

I ran to the parking lot of the hospital and sat on the ground and cried, crying was a regular thing I did it became so common it was like eating or breathing even... I hated Ray at that moment he was being selfish, everyone in my eyes were selfish even me, I hated Ray I hated my mom my dad and Lucy, she was so desperately in love with him and I could never lay my lips on Ray, when I used to see them at cookouts and family outings they couldn't keep their hands off of each other they were like Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp. But I've come to realize many things about life, that cute boys can be destructive, pretty girls never live, Dad's are bastards who don't care about their children, well at least my dad is, and alcohol should be abolished, because it has destroyed many things in my life.

I walked back to the hospital only to see my Grandparents gone and Mrs. Gibson at the front desk, I approached her, "Can we talk", i spoke quietly. She'd finished talking to someone on the phone she was speaking in a foreign language.

"Yes?", she replied.

"So you weren't lying", I said pushing back my hair.

"Why would I lie?", she said taking a seat.

"Yeah, why would you.. B-but why me?", I asked looking perplexed.

"Susanna my son is a heartbreaker he'll like you for a couple of weeks and then move on to the next, don't get too attached to him", she said putting her hand on my knee.

She was right Lucy was probably his only long term girlfriend and why would he go for someone like me he's just drugged up he doesn't even know what he's saying.

I arrived at the hospital for the last time this week, I walked in there like a zombie I've been able to get an hour of sleep each night. The hospital looked particularly full that day, I looked around for a seat my usual spot had been taken by a younger couple, I envied them I envied everyone who had a boyfriend it was easier for them to fit in and feel safe. I found an empty seat near the sick kids area my grandparents accompanied me.

"Susanna, you've been different these past few days", Gramps said

"Wow! Do you want a gold star captain obvious? Yes I'm upset get over it it's not like I haven't been sad before so don't freak", I said annoyed.

"That's no way to talk to your grandfather missy!", Gram said as she stuck her finger in my face.

I took her finger out and put it on her lap, we've started to make a scene and I wanted to annoy her more , "You can take your dirty finger and stick it up your butt", I yelled. Everyone gasped and looked around, I stormed off to the front desk and asked if I could go to Rays room and left Gram and Gramps speechless and embarrassed.

I walked to Rays room my heart was beating so hard every patient could probably hear it, I approached his room and slowly went in, Ray was lying there watching Family Matters he saw me come in then turned his head back towards the TV, "Ray, we need to actually talk, cause all we've been doing is arguing and I'm tired of it I just want to have a normal conversation with a friend", I said pulling up a chair near his bed.

"Susanna, I've had these feelings for a while now, I just didn't decide one day that you know, that-- I wanted to like you it just gradually happened, I think I knew when you were crying that night at the beach", he said with a raspy voice, he had bed head and he looked adorable with his glasses on I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Ray, you don't love me you love Lucy", I said quietly.

"I loved her, now I have to move on and sometimes I swear she's watching over me, and I feel her, and she knows we are right for each other, I know it Susy and it's time for you to realize it too", he said.

"Ray I do love you, I always have, even on your bad days I just don't think we're right for each other, you belong with another girl", I said starting to tear up a bit, it was unreal hearing something like that from a guy.

"Ok, Then kiss me, if you don't feel anything then we're done", he said putting his hand on me.

I started to sweat because I knew that I was going to fall in love, I hated it but I had to face the truth.

We inched closer and closer, my heart was beating faster and faster, his face got closer to mine and I got sweatier and sweatier, then our lips finally crashed, when we kissed it was a felling I can't explain really it was like having butterflies but, sexual butterflies, but not like those kind, but kind of like- honestly it's unexplainable. We kind of just kept our lips there for a while. I pulled away and smiled at him and I finally thought I was in love.