Summer's Heat //editing

Motel Drinking Blues

It was right around The 4th of July when all hell broke loose, yeah that one nighter at this "hotel" was a lie we've been here for about a week and he had no intention of leaving, my grandparents are worried sick and I've only left this room two times this week, Ray comes to the motel every night hammered, passing out on the couch, leaving empty beer cans everywhere. We also have these nasty arguments then he'd go out and get drunk and do the same thing over and over again, it was like we were married!

I came back to the dirty motel room with beer cans and a drunk Ray passed out on the bathroom floor. I kicked the beer can out of the way and set some bananas down on the table. I sat down on the couch and accidentally sat on split beer, this time I had enough, "Ray! I'm so sick and tired of you trashing this place, do you realize we can't stay here forever! If you keep paying that sketchy guy in the front we're going to be broke!" Complete silence came from the bathroom, he usually wakes up when I yell. "Are you listening to me?", I said as I walked to the bathroom, I shook Ray trying to wake him up, "Ray wake up", I started to panic I was trying to find a pulse. Next he's in the E.R.

Strike one.

I was sitting in the waiting room impatient like a little kid waiting for a birthday present, I thought that this was my fault, I know that I should've said no and went home, I knew my grandparents were going to give me a lecture and I was totally obligated to listen to it, even though most times I couldn't stand my grandparents I loved them, they were like my parents.

I saw my grandparents rush in, I ran up to them and hugged them, everything started to come back, all the memories the fun, my mom, my dad, I felt like An actual teenager. I buried my face in Grams shirt and silently cried. Gram picked my head up and wiped my tears away, gramps also joined in for a hug. "Susanna, we were worried sick! You just cant run off and not notify us!".

I knew everything she said was right, "I know, h-he wouldn't let me go, he wanted me to stay there with him", I said crying a bit." I didn't know what to do, he would come back drunk and angry." 

"Did he hurt you", gramps said interrupting.

"No, but he almost did, he was drunk and he started throwing things", I said crying hysterically. "And then, he was passed out and he wasn't breathing, I was so scared", I said catching my breath and then crying.

For about an hour Gram, Gramps and I sat down, while I cried and talked about the horrors of living with Ray, then I came to a realization, Why was Ray so violent? And every time we talk about Lucy's death he leaves, could he have possibly killed her? This was an absurd thought because Ray was a nice person it's alcohol that changes you, and I know that coming from experience.

About 3 hours later Ray's mother came she had curly brown hair and she looked casual she had blue jeans with a white shirt and sneakers on. "Mr and Mrs. Dunn", she said giving them a heartfelt look, "Who's this?", I could hear her accent slip out of her mouth.

"I'm Susanna Dunn", I said pulling my hand out.

"Oh so you're the new Lucy?", she said smirking.

Her icy old eyes gave me goosebumps, "I think you have the wrong girl ma'am I'm Susanna"

"Yes Susanna or Susy, Ray called me on Monday, I'm pretty sure he was drunk but anyway, he was going on and on about how he loves his Susy and how he wants to know you better and how he loves you, yada yada yada, the boy was out of it"

Ray? Loving me? She had to be joking, he never seemed interested, he looked to distraught to be in a new relationship, "Oh", I said sounding perplexed. She obviously is joking. But she wasn't entirely wrong, he
always wanted to know me better.

"So, why aren't you crying, shouldn't you be scared he's in there and he has a slim chance of living", I said changing the subject.

"Oh something like this happened before, I know my son he's a fighter and he'll live", she said sitting down, pulling out her Walkman.

It was funny how everything went from bad to awful In a month! Things were even worse at the hospital only family members and spouses got to see him, and we could only see him during visiting hours, I stayed up all night picking up trash from the motel, I stumbled over a broken chair this was the one that he threw at me. It hurt to look at it because every time I did I relived that moment, over and over again.

12 AM and I was still awake, I couldn't sleep knowing Ray may or may not live, he has so much potential and integrity he could be so much more than a grieving bastard.

The next morning I went back to the hospital and sat next to his unconscious body, "Ray I just want to say, I forgive you for everything and I hate that side of you, it scared me because, well I haven't told anyone this but I've had this huge crush on you, and your mom told me you love me, but you think you love me, but you don't you're just hurting. And you deserve someone better someone prettier and smarter than me", I gripped on his hand tight and felt a small grip from his hand. Maybe he did like me.