Holding On (COMPLETED)

Chapter one

I feel cold, cold on my skin and cold in my veins. I feel heavy and realise I can't move, I'm laying on something hard and unfamiliar. I try to open my eyes but they are too heavy, it's like they are sewn shut. I pull at my arms but they won't move and I can't kick at my legs either.
Oh fuck!
I'm tied up again. No no no. I scream, fear blacking my mind and I thrash my head because it's the only thing that I can move.
I feel hands on me, on my face, on my hair and they are warm. I try to open my eyes again but I can't. The hands are soothing and I know these hands, I quiet my screaming and I can hear him, not his words but the deep rumble of his voice.
Cooper?! I need you. I love you! I try to talk but nothing works, what's wrong with me? I feel him, I feel his panic, his sadness, his anger and his love. I focus on the love and I send it back, please feel it too.
His hands slow down, smoothing my hair back gently. I feel a kiss on my forehead and I whimper. It makes a noise and I do it again.
"I'm here baby, you're okay" I hear him and I move my head into his hand.
"Mm" I mumble
"Izzy? Can you hear me?" His voice is excited.
"Mm mm" I can't form words, what is wrong with me?
"Baby, listen to me. Try to stay calm okay? Just relax, trust me that you are alright. Can you do that?"
Of course I trust him. I nod. I try to reach for him, why cant I move? I feel a tear slide down my cheek. I concentrate all my energy on speaking and I feel tears burn my eyes.
"Why?" I croak.
"Baby you are in hospital, the doctors gave you a sedative that's why you feel so heavy. You are strapped to the bed so you dont hurt yourself and that's why you can't move. Just stay calm baby okay? I need you to stay awake this time" His voice is nervous.
This time? His fingers wipe my tears and I feel his lips on my forehead. I feel my eyes flutter and I can see light but nothing else. I turn my face towards Cooper.
"More" I mumble.
The sound of Coops chuckle has my heart pickng up pace. His lips find mine and I moan.
"The drugs are wearing off, just a little while longer baby" he soothes me.
My eyes flutter again and I see blurred shapes. Why am I drugged? I don't understand, Cooper knows I panic when I can't move.
"Why?" I ask again. I pull at my arms and my breathing gets faster. "Please, move" I whimper.
"I can't baby, I'm sorry. The nurses won't let me but I've called them they are on their way. Izzy it's important you don't panic again, don't struggle baby or they will put you back under. Please don't leave me again, stay calm for me babe" his voice is strained and frustrated but mostly just tired.
"Need you" I whisper. Blink my eyes and for a second I see his face. "Hold me?" I want to be in his arms I need to breathe his scent.
"I'm here baby"
I feel the bed moving, a metal grinding and I assume a side rail is being lowered, the mattress moves then I feel the heat of him laying beside me. His warm arms wrap over my body and his face is beside mine, I turn my head to him and feel his cheek under my forehead. Thank you. My arms try to reach for him and I groan.
"Love" I whisper.
I want to tell him how much I love him but I can't. More tears make their way down my face.
"I love you too, so much. I need you to come home to me baby, I need you back. I know you can do it this time, you can get through this" his voice cracks and I feel his pain.
I use all the strength I can find to open my eyes, they blink twice and open slowly. Finally his face comes into focus. His eyes are so tired and dark they no longer look green, the dark shadows under his eyes tell me he hasn't been sleeping and the lines around them show his worry. The stubble on his jawline now looks more like a beard and his lips are swollen. He is not a happy man.
"Hey beautiful" his lips move into a smile but he doesn't fool me.
"Cooper, what's wrong?" My voice is cracking and it hurts to speak.
"I miss you baby" he whispers.
"I can't move" I tell him panic rising again.
"I know baby, but you're okay I won't let anyone hurt you"
"Help me?" I beg
"Baby, I can't. I'm sorry. Just relax baby, I'm here with you" his eyes are glassy
I don't feel relaxed, I feel wasted and my head rolls.
I think I'm thinking about something then I forget.
"What's wrong with me?" I cry frustrated.
Coop's lips touch my nose.
"Is she awake?" A harsh female voice asks from behind me and I jolt.
I pull at my arms to move away but I can't. Coopers arms tighten around me and I feel him panic. Is she going to hurt me?
"Almost, she is better this time. Please just give her a chance to deal with this I know she can" he begs her
"Isabel, how are you feeling? Can you follow my finger?" She is all business and straight to the point.
I follow her finger with my eyes and they blur in and out of focus.
"Can you answer me Isabel?" She frowns.
"I'm dizzy" I answer softly.
"Hmm, well she is more responsive. I will let her come round, but any hysterics and she is going back under. I know it's hard but it's for her own good. Let her mind catch up" she checks the monitors as she talks and it's only then I realise I have tubes and cords attached to my arms.
"Please" I whisper.
"Please what?" She asks
"Let me go, please" I beg pulling at my arms.
"Please, I won't leave her side. I'll hold her down if she needs it" Cooper tells her.
I forgot he was there and I whip my head to him.
"Hey" I smile softly.
"Hey baby girl, you're okay" he kisses my forehead.
"Fuck I love you" I tell him and he smiles and it's beautiful.
"Love you more" he breathes
"That smile though, can I marry it? I love that smile" I mumble. I reach for his face. "I can't move, Cooper please help me" my eyes close and now I can't move or see. My heart races and I'm shaking. "Please help me" I whisper
"Izzy, I'm here baby. I won't let anyone hurt you baby I promise. Please let her out of the cuffs, that's what's distressing her. She was tied up when she was attacked, let me look after her" Cooper pleads for me.
Who is he talking to?
"You will be responsible for her, do you understand?" I hear a woman's voice beside me and I jump.
My eyes snap open and I see a woman leaning over me. I try to pull away but I can't.
"No! Please don't hurt me" I whimper.
I feel Cooper beside me running his hand over my stomach, hmm feels good. My eyes close again.
"You know I'm not ticklish" I giggle.
"I know, but you like it" his voice in my ear gives me shivers and I remember I'm cold.
"I like you" I mumble.
"See? she's fine now, I know what she needs. She needs to be able to move, I'm not going to let anything happen to her" I feel his breath as he talks and my face finds his. I kiss his mouth and his beard does tickle.
I feel cold hands on my arms and I panic, they aren't Coopers hands. Then I feel Coopers hands on my face and he kisses me again soft and gentle. I lift my arms to his neck and hold him close and slip my knee between his. I breathe him in holding my face to his neck.
"Thank you" he whispers.
"Anytime lover" I mumble sleepy.
Lips touch my head and My mind goes black.