ASH 》 h.s 》 #Wattys2017

♦17♦

"And I wanna come home to you
But home is just a room full of my safest sounds
Cause you know that I can't trust myself with my 3AM shadow
I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone

I wanna sleep next to you
But that's all I wanna do right now
So come over now and talk me down

I wanna hold hands with you
But that's all I wanna do right now
And I wanna get close to you
Cause your hands and lips still know their way around." -Talk Me Down

--

H A R R Y

Waking up to a cold and dark room is really helping my depressing mood today isnt it?

How wouldnt I be? I mean, my mum has a fxcking stupid cancer and I am stressing over the fact that maybe just maybe the most popular killer, Ash. Can actually help me.

I need a bit of air. I'm in desperate need.

You know the feeling when you feel the walls closing down on you and you cant breathe?

That is exactly what I am feeling right now.

I stood up and walked sneakily to the balcony.

I dont have the enough courage to face anyone at the moment.

I leaned on the cold metal railings and closed my eyes after taking a deep breath.

Anyways, later on though, I need to go to mum and dad to talk about her sickness.

I felt a bubble of nervousness and mixed emotion inside me, I need to calm the fxck down or else I might faint.

I never felt this way ever since.... Gemma.

And I didnt, never even, thought this feeling would be felt once again.

But who am I to say that. I dont know what the future holds for me. All I can do is hope for the best. It might be little, but it can help even the single bit.

Like they say, its the thought that counts.

After a few moments of staying on the balcony, I felt a small tap on the shoulder.

"Harold, why are you up here?" Louis asked, his voice laced with concern.

I decided not to say it.

"Nothing. Just needed a bit of air." I simply replied with a small smile.

He furrowed his eyebrows and eyed me carefully.

"Fine then. I wont push you, you know that." He smiled back before heading back inside.

I rubbed my hands together to at least give me a bit of warmth on my skin because of the cold London air.

When I went back inside, the sun was slightly shining and I thought that maybe I can take a bit of a walk or recover some happy memories.

Maybe that'll help. Happiness is the key. Although, I kinda not believe that at some point right now. Thats gonna change anyway and I dont complain at all.

I took out my coat and went downstairs to see them all cuddled up near the fireplace.

Theyre living the life at their fullest. Lucky them.

While me, I'm standing here, cold, worried, and feeling sick.
Or maybe even broken.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna head for a walk. See you later." I shouted from the front door, closing the door before they say anything back.

Yes, its rude, but for now I dont five a single shxt about anything.

Oh no. Fxck, my mood is changing again.

I notice that tons of times but I give little attention to it.

Everyone dosent seem to care anyways. Even if I do it right in front of their faces.

I like to say, "Everyone is weird in their own way."

And the small quote I live by,
"Normal people scare me."

Maybe thats the reason why I work as a psychologist in an Asylum.

--

I continued to walk down the sidewalk and happened to pass by a ever so familiar bakery.

Ha. I used to be a baker.

(a/n: We get it Harry, gosh chill.)

I always seemed to love the smell of the bread and I actually still love to play with flour until now.

I know, I'm probably mature for that now but hmm...no not really.

Everyone needs a little fun in their lives while it lasts.

But not everytime...

I entered the bakery and quickly smelled the aroma of the bread as I stepped in.

I looked over to the counter and saw my Aunt Bessie behind it.

I grinned brightly at the memories started to kick in and flutter in my heart.

I quickly walked to her direction and gave her a big hug.

"Aunt Bessie!!" I smiled while we were hugging.

We pulled back and she took a close look on my features and gasped.

"Oh my, oh my, is that you Harry?" She asked, shocked making me chuckle as I nodded.

"Yes. I came back!!" I exclaimed.

She caressed my cheek softly and patted my cheek.

"Boy, have you grown up as a handsome man!" She smiled back making me blush a tiny bit.

"Lets go sit down and talk." She said, leading me to a table down the corner.

We sat down and started to talk.

"So my boy, what brought you here?" She politely asked me while I fiddled with my fingers.

A habit I do.

I had this bit of hope that she knows mum's condition.

--

Poor Harry, he needs to break the news to the sweet old woman :( I myself would feel terrible and have an existential crisis.