Still Not Quite over you

chapter 3

"Hey, Seanster, what's up?" Finn shouts as he enters Sean's room.

Sean laughs as Finn hugs him. "Sup, Finnster," he greets back.

Finn lets Sean go and sits down on the chair next to his bed. "So, how are you?" he asks.

Sean scoffs. "Please, I know why you're here, Finn," he answers.

Finn looks at him confused. "You do?"

Sean nods. "Yep, it's Rachel. It's always Rachel."

Finn sighs in defeat. "Fine, you caught me. I can't get her out of my head!"

Sean laughs. "She is one special girl," he adds on.

Finn nods in agreement. Rachel is a special girl; she saw something in him that no one else could see. Most people saw him as a dumb jock, who was dumb enough to believe that he knocked up his girlfriend without actually having sex; but Rachel saw him differently; like he mattered in the world. Then when he left her behind, his world fell apart. "Yeah she is, I just regret leaving her in New York, you know?"

Sean nods. "You've been regretting since you came back three years ago. Why didn't you go back, Finn?"

Finn shrugs. "I guess I was a coward. I couldn't face her after I left her. What should I have said? She didn't deny having feelings for Jessie."

"But she didn't admit it either," Sean sighs, "Finn, if you had gone back to her, you two would probably be the ones engaged right now."

Finn nods. Of course they would be engaged right now, maybe even three years ago. They could be married by now and have kids of their own and now Jessie is going to get that chance soon. "So what do you think I should do? Just let her go?"

Sean shrugs. "It's not up to me, it's up to you, but if it were up to me I would say, 'Don't let her go.'"

Finn rests his head in between his hands. "I don't know what to do," he mumbles into his hands. Sean laughs and Finn looks up and sighs. "It's not fair, Sean. I want her to be happy but I know she'll be happy with me as her husband. You should have seen the way she looks at me, it's like all those years of being apart doesn't matter."

"But it does matter," Sean adds.

Finn glares at him. "Anyway, I love her."

Sean smirks. "I know you do and she loves you, too."

Finn's expression is one of a hopeful man. "She does? Did she say so herself?"

Sean shrugs. He did recall Rachel babbling on about her emotions for his friend, she did say she would have chased after him, but she couldn't. "Well, she did, but she also loves Jessie."

Finn shakes his head and runs his hand through his thick, dark hair. "Of course she does. Why can't she make up her mind? She loves me, but she wants to marry Jessie? It doesn't make sense!"

"I know it doesn't, but it only makes sense to Rachel."

Before Finn could answer, there is a knock on the door. Both Sean and Finn look to see who is at the door. It is Sean's wife, Sarah, a beautiful girl with light brown hair and mesmerizing hazel eyes. Sean smiles as he basks in his wife's beauty. "Oh hi, Finn, how are you?" Sarah asks.

Finn smiles and waves to her. "Hi, Sarah, I'm good," he answers.

Sarah nods and turns all of her attention to Sean. "Sean, honey, I'm making dinner any requests?" she asks.

Sean thinks for a few seconds. "What about your pot roast?" he answers.

Sarah grins. "That's exactly what I was thinking," she replies. Then Sarah turns her attention to Finn. "Are you staying for dinner, Finn?" she asks.

Finn looks at Sean, who shrugs, then at Sarah. "Sure, Puck is with Quinn tonight so yeah."

Sarah grins. "Excellent, well dinner will be ready in an hour. Sean, we could eat in here if you want."

Sean shakes his head. "No, babe, I want to eat out there with you. I've been in this room all day, I need a new setting."

Sarah giggles. "Ok then, Finn will help you into the chair."

Sean nods and watches as Sarah leaves. "She's wonderful, huh?" he asks Finn.

Finn nods. "I'm happy for you, man," he replies.

"Thanks and don't worry, Rachel will realize that you are for her," Sean says.

Finn sighs. "I hope you're right," he responds.

As Finn eats dinner with Sean and Sarah, he couldn't help but feel a little envious. Seeing the happiness between Sean and Sarah was so painful for Finn, he had to keep excusing himself so he can compose a strong expression. Finn couldn't help himself, he just had to cry. Rachel left a huge void in his life that he feels incomplete without her. Well he shouldn't blame her because he's the one who left New York without a word. When Finn left the Fretthold's house, he put in his Backstreet Boys mix CD; Rachel had given it to him as a gag gift. He can't deny liking the Backstreet Boys, their songs are awesome and they have been around for more than 20 years. He skipped the other songs to "I Still" from their fourth album "Never Gone" (2005). He had to sing along once the chorus came on:

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

The song pretty much explained how he felt about her, the song summed up three years without Rachel, three years without her smile, her laugh, her voice, her scent, her hair, her big chocolate brown eyes. Suddenly as the last notes of "I Still" ended, Finn got an idea. He'll burn a CD for her to show her how much of a jerk he is with the help of the Backstreet Boys. When Finn arrives home, he practically runs to his room, almost knocking down Quinn as she came out of the bathroom.

"Whoa, what the hell, Finn?" she asks.

Finn turns his head to look at her. "Oh sorry, Quinn," he answers before closing his door. He sits in front of his desk, pulls out his old CDs, puts one blank CD into the laptop, and downloads all the songs he needs. He printed out a little table of contents of the songs in the CD:

Bigger (This Is Us, 2009)

I Still (Never Gone, 2005)

Never Gone (Never Gone, 2005)

Incomplete (Never Gone, 2005)

All I Have to Give (Backstreet's Back, 1997)

Shape of My Heart (Black and Blue, 2000)

Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely (Millennium, 1999)

I Need You Tonight (Millennium, 1999)

The One (Millennium, 1999)

Drowning (The Hits: Chapter One, 2001)

Jessie's Girl (Rick Springfield)

After putting the CD together, Finn admires his work.Hopefully this one will have Rachel running back to me, he thinks to himself.