Written In The Stars

Chapter Twenty

"I believe in the things that I am afraid to say"
-Cristina Perri

Alice

Eli left. I was sitting on the bed. Penn was pacing nervously in front of me. I was worried he was going to wear a hole in the rug.

"Alice I- gah!" Penns threw his bedside lamp across the room where it smashed into shards against the wall. I flinched at the sound. He growled, trying and failing for the fourth time to finish this sentence. He began to pace even faster. His blood stained hands ran through his hair yet again. He was losing it.

Let's recap.

Today I heard gunshots. My boyfriend ran off into the woods. He came back covered in blood. And now I sat on his bed, waiting for an explanation that he couldn't give me.

It had been a long day. And after half an hour of watching Penn struggle I'd had enough. I stood from the bed, "Penn," his coffee colored eyes snapped to me.

"Please just tell me what's going on," my voice shook. "I'm scared Penn."

The pain was clear in his eyes as he began to reach for me. But he froze when he saw his bloodied limbs. His arms fell limply back to his sides, his head hung low.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I should never have kept this from you," Penn started to speak. "I was just so afraid of what you would say. This situation doesn't really help that."
"Penn just spit it out," I pleaded.

He sighed deeply and sunk down beside me on the bed, a little too far away for my liking.

"Alice, I am not who you think. I mean- I am, but there's something you don't know." I sat quietly. He finally managed to form a coherent sentence, he was on a roll. I wasn't about to stop him. "God this sounds so cliché-" he hung his head into his hands. "I can't do this," he sighed. "What the hell is wrong with me that I can't even talk to the most important person in my life?" He was off the bed and pacing again. I'm the most important person in his life?

He froze. Penns gaze fell to me where I remained sitting on the bed. "I can show you," he whispered.

All of a sudden I was off the bed and being pulled along down the hallway. Penn pulled me through his labyrinth-like home, finally stopping when we reached the tree line of the backyard.

Penn released my hand, turning to face me. He looked nervous, terrified actually. "Alice, I'm going to show you a part of me that no human has seen before." He walked closer, towering over me, and held my face in his strong hands.

"Do you remember what I said the night you told me about your past?" I honestly couldn't. I couldn't even think straight when he stood this close to me. I shook my head.

"I will never hurt you sweetheart, never. Pease remember that." He was pleading that this point. "Please don't be afraid of me. It would break my heart if you were to fear me."

"I'm not afraid of you Penn. No matter what you have to say or show me, I'll still be here." As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth I knew they were true. I trusted Penn. Wholeheartedly. I had seen true horrors during my life. Nothing he might say could spook me.

Penn nodded, disheveled hair flopping over his forehead, "okay." He backed away slowly, releasing his hold on me. The feeling of warmth he provided left when his touch did.

Penns entire body began to quake. His well built form dropped to his knees, fingered digging into the soil. Fur sprouted from his arms, long talons erupted from beneath his fingernails. The sickening crunch of broken bone nearly made me ill.

Finally he stood before me, surrounded by the now torn scraps of his clothing. Only this wasn't Penn. This was an animal.

A russet wolf stood before me. It matched my height and overtook me by a few inches. It's claws were long, sharp, just like the canines that peaked out of its muzzle. It would have been absolutely terrifying, had it not been for its eyes.

The saddest most docile shade of coffee brown stared back at me, not quite meeting my eye.

The wolf edged closer to me, head hung low. I was frozen. A massive, wet nose nudged my hand. I jumped back startled, landing not so gracefully on my butt.

A whine escaped the wolfs muzzle and he dropped down onto the ground. Slowly, as if not to scare me, he belly crawled forward until he lay on the ground beside me. I don't know if it was from fear or shock but I remained frozen. My eyes squeezed shut.

I sat in the wet grass for a few minutes and just tried to breathe. Warmth radiated off the wolf and seeped into my arm. It felt kind of wonderful.

Finally gathering what little courage I had, I opened my eyes. His massive head rested on his paws, he was staring at me. I took a slow breath in and the wolfs head lifted. We were at eye level with each other.

Once again a wet nose nudged my hand. There was nowhere to fall this time seeing as I was already on the ground. My hand landed on top of the wolfs furry head. It was soft.

My fingered moved involuntarily, running through the reddish brown fur. A low rumble came from the wolf, it sounded like a wolfish purr.

This was insane. Absolutely mad. I'm seeing a giant wolf where my boyfriend used to be. I've lost my mind. I'm certifiable.

There is a bloody giant wolf purring under my hand. God this is scaring me beyond belief. My heart is pounding so hard I think it might jump out of my ribcage. My palms are sweating. The shaking of my hands isn't noticeable since my whole body was starting to shake like a leaf. I couldn't breathe. I shut my eyes again.

"Penn, I don't know what's going on. I don't understand this and I'm not so sure I want to. Please, if you're there please come back to me Penn," I released a shaky breath. "I'm scared Penn."

The fur beneath my hand disappeared. A twig crunched somewhere close. Large, calloused hands gently gripped my upper arms. My eyes snapped open to see skin. Smooth, blood stained, human skin.

"It's alright sweetheart, I'm here." Penn pulled me to my feet and pulled me into his bare chest. His warmth spread through my body once again.

"I'm so sorry Alice. Please don't be afraid of me," he held me even tighter. "Please."

I didn't want to fear him. And I didn't. I wasn't afraid of Penn. I was afraid of the thing he turned into.

"I want to go back to my house Penn," I whispered into his skin.
"Okay sweetheart, I'll drive you home."

We sat silently in front of my house, staring at it through Penns windshield. Finally, after five minutes of uncomfortable silence, he turned to me. "Alice-"
"Thank you for driving me home," I cut off his sentence. I'm not sure that I wanted to hear any explanation for the things I had seen today. "I'll see you later Penn."

I jumped out of the car and made my way into the house, locking the door securely behind me.

The house was empty. My mother wasn't home. She was hardly ever home. This house was cold. This house was not my home.

My head fell into my hands. My skull was pounding from the influx of information I had received today. I had been exposed to an entirely different world today. A world that had previously only existed between the pages of books.

I was in deep with this world. But I'm not sure that I wanted to be.

~~~

A small black duffle bag sat beside me in the seat. I turned my gaze to look out the window. A sign zoomed past, it read "Now Leaving the Town of Red Hills".

"Where to miss?" The cab drivers watery eyes stared at me through the rearview mirror.

I took a deep breath, trying to swallow down the burning guilt and sadness building up in my chest. I felt cold.

"Seattle."