Chapter 5- Emotions

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Sunday went by fast consisting of me eating junk food, watching Netflix and once in a while texting Logan who kept bugging me about non-important matters. I think I paid more attention to my phone than my laptop.

It's was now Monday morning and I was getting ready to leave to school. I tip toed down stairs, down the hallway to the kitchen, grabbing a banana and a water. I made sure not to wake up my 'mother' as she would start something with me and I wasn't in a mood for her bickering. I left the kitchen and walked quietly to the front door. Opening silently and closing it loudly which I totally did on purpose. I know how much it annoys her when I do stuff that bothers her. Anything I do bothers her. I fall down or trip and she'll be annoyed and say something. She acts like a middle school teacher, honestly.

I ran to my car, unlocking it quickly before she would come out and start yelling at me for disturbing her 'beauty sleep' though I see no change of beauty, if all she's getting more wrinkles.

I zoomed down the familiar road that I've grown hatred towards. The trees still seemed the same as if nothing happened, as if what happened that night really didn't. The hill was steep, at the very bottom were the two graves that made me realise that you have to value the time you spend with your loved ones and enjoy everything time of it. I shook the gloomy thought away. My smile and happy mood was soon replaced with a frown and a gloomy mood.

I've always tried to avoid this road, but the road I usually go through is closed due to some reconstruction. A couple of minutes later I arrived at school, parking at my usual spot. I turned the engine off and pulled my key out. As I stuffed the keys in my jacket I grabbed my book bag and stepped out the car closing the door behind me and locking it to.

People stared at me in adoration and fear. You could say I'm a bad ass, but I'd call it not taking shit from anybody and speaking my mind out. Some people waved at me and I gave them either a nod or a polite smile. Others just fist pumped or high fived. I was a friendly person, but I never liked making friends. I didn't want people to find out what I go through in reality. That's why I only hang out with Juily, but since the boys are beginning to hang out with us, I'm receiving more attention than usual.

What can I expect, I'm hanging out with the three hottest boys of  the school. I can already feel rumours starting to spread. Though I ignore them, they still bother me.

I walked over to my locker and spanned the combination opening wide. I took out my usual and literally stuffed my book bag inside. I heard a very familiar voice behind me and I groaned in annoyance. Brayden.

"Look at her. Acting like she's tough and cool. When in reality she's just a nerd." Brayden said. His friends laughed and Amanda his girlfriend laughed too. Why is Amanda here too? Urghh.

"Look. I don't know what your problem is, but can you just leave me the fuck alone. I don't have time for people who cause shit for attention." I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"And what's the fun in that?" Trevor, one of Brayden's friends said.

"You'd be really nice to fuck around with. Tonight at my place?" Nick another of Brayden's friend said.

"I'd rather die then sleep with you, who knows where you've been." I said.

"Who knows what you've been used for?" Amanda budged in.

"Do me a favour and shut the hell up, you slept with half the school. If not all." I said.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Brayden yelled at me.

Soon I was corned near a locker and all five guys were giving me devilish smirks.

"Should we play around with her?" One of them said.

"If you lay one single finger on me. I swear—" I was cut of by on of them grabbing me by the waist.

"You swear what." He challenged.

I lost my confidence, my voice, myself. I was back to Nichole who takes shit from everyone, allows people to fuck her life up, let's people get to her, back to the girl who can't stand up for herself.  For the third time in my life, I felt scared, alone, empty, angry, and sad. All of the feeling that I normally am are set aside. I felt him move his hand around my stomach and I flinched. I closed my eyes and a lot of things flashed in my brain.

All of the sudden I was back to being me. All of my senses came back. Anger boiled up inside me, I pushed him off of me as hard as I could. He tumbled back and two people fell with him. Amanda being one of them.

"You little bitch, I will—" Trevor was cut off my someone speaking behind him.

"You will what. If you ever try something or even try to touch her. I will beat the shit out of you." I turned towards the person who stood up for me. Ryder.

"Understood?!" He yelled.

"Yeah." They all mumbled. They all turned and left. I didn't notice Sebastian and Logan behind him. Logan rushed over to me. I was in state of shock. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I sat there and let tears fall down my face.

"Are you okay? Did they try anything? Did they hurt you? Are you okay?" He asks rapidly repeating a question twice.

I nodded and stood up. "Yeah. I'm fine. They didn't try anything. Thank you." I say looking at the ground and wiping my tears.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm fine." I repeated.

"You need to learn to stick up for yourself!" Ryder yelled at me as if it was my fault.

"I tried, but something happened to me and I lost it." I said and with that I grabbed my things and ran down the hallway. I didn't need them questioning me. I had a minute and a half till first period started. I missed homeroom and my little free time I had.

The rest of the day passed by fast, and soon I was heading back 'home'. I didn't really pay attention in class, all I could think about was what happened this morning. What would've happened if they didn't come? Would I have been raped? Why did I shut down?

I stepped inside the car and rode back home. I just realised that Juily wasn't in school today. What a friend am I? Not a very good one. When you hide things from them. But I can't tell her anything I would get her into trouble. Yeah, but she deserves to know. She deserves too, but she can't.

My life is the most difficult thing. Why can't I live a normal life. Why do I have to live in hell with people who act like the devil himself. Why me? Why me? Why me? With that I broke down as I made my way to my secret place.

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I'm officially done with middle school. Let summer begin. Short chapter I know but I might update tomorrow twice. I'll be updating more often. Yay!!!
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