Intoxicated

Opia

Chapter 30

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Jacques

Lies are consuming, that's what's so delicious about them. You become engrossed in a language that suffocates the truth from ever being produced.

She never could lie, or hide the way she felt about me. We never spoke about the stolen kisses we'd shared every so often. But I didn't really mind, it fuelled my beliefs that one day she would be mine.

I hid something from her a year ago, a letter he'd written before he hung himself out to dry. It was such a shame, that Fede was never the same after her incident.

At the time I felt jealous of him, jealous of the way she'd look at him with this longing to be at peace with her lover. That's the way, I looked at her. She just never returned my glance.

He delivered the letter to my door, at the time he seemed agitated. It didn't understand why?

Thinking about it now, he'd lost his marbles down the sink, and at this point they were rolling down the drain. If there ever was a face that could portray the purest form of melancholy, his could.

So I read it and I've regretted doing so, ever since. I need to show her, but she's been avoiding me, ignoring my messages, hiding her self away from the faces of those who care the most. But see her the least.

Dear Mi Amor a primera vista,

My love at first sight. I loved you more than words could ever care to explain, but if by some chance you wish to understand, my darling then I will care to explain.

You were the name that was always left upon my lips, the kiss I always missed when we where not in presence of the other. You were the sunrise to my dismal existence, on occasion.

You were the spectrum of colours that my eyes were blessed to see. You were an entirety of beauty, you didn't even need to posses an attractive attire to have me at your mercy. Flechazo, my love at first sight.

You tried to fill the holes that eroded my sense of feeling, you tried to stretch my sense of living, beyond the possibilities I ever would have wished to have achieved. You tried to be the woman, you thought I wanted you to be.

But, Charlotta you were the bubbles that effervesced across the plain of my grey sky. You made me realise things about myself, I didn't even know were inside my soul. I changed my perspective from negative to positive. And for that I am forever in your debt.

I brought my shadow of sadness and slowly stitched into your own. I made your troubles worsen, by tightening my grip on your liberty. You filled my thoughts with concern that grew to obsession. And for that I am forever in your debt.

My darling, this has and never will be my final fair well. You of all people, can understand that I have completed my ellipse of this life time.

You made it complete. You made it worthwhile. You completed my empty soul and allowed it resurface to what it once was. And for that I am forever in your debt.

But mi amore, how can a man of my caliber live a life forever in your debt? I cannot my darling girl. It simply is not how I wish to fill the rest of my days and for that my love, is my reasoning for doing so.