s h e

chapter thirteen

The apartment that's always been filled with laughter and barking and singing and dancing and smells of baked goods and wet dog is silent and still.

It's uncomfortable.

Winnie must've texted Tatem
and asked her to grab her stuff, because her bedroom door is open and the flat is bare of all four-legged friends.

You and Serena are alone.

Unlike the kind of loneliness that was welcome after your first date, the air is tense. Serena hasn't spoken since she told you to get in the car at the theater. Her lips were pursed on the drive home, and she fiddled with the radio before shutting it off, leaving the two of you in deafening quiet.

"Melanie." Serena steps into the apartment, her perfectly straightened mahogany hair all mussed up from the movie. Her teal eyes are icy cold, but watery. As if anything you say has the potential to break her anger.

"Serena-"

"No." She cuts you off forcefully. "No, it's my turn now." You just nod, too afraid of her now blazing state of rage.

"It's been a long time since I've decided to date anybody. You were the first significant other in my life since my first two years of college." And wow, really? Serena's fucking gorgeous. She most likely has guys and girls alike licking the ground that she walks on, just trying to catch her attention.

"When I saw you at that Halloween party, I was thrilled, because I thought I finally had a chance to be happy." She exhales.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Melanie Anais Robbins. Your personality is captivating, and I thought that I'd be overjoyed at the prospect of spending the rest of my goddamn life at the side of you, a stunning woman." And then Serena sighs. "But you don't love me."

You open your mouth to say something, anything.

"You love her." Serena's voice is bitter.

"Red, what-"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Melanie!" The two of you are going to get a noise complaint if you don't lower your volume, but Serena doesn't seem to care right now. "You are completely, totally, irrevocably in love with Winnie Seaford!" Her voice gets a little choked up before she adds a small "Not me."

And you?

You laugh.

Your sides start to hurt and your cheeks start to burn but the laughter can't, won't cease.

Because that's ridiculous.

You love Winnie. Of course you love her, she's your best fucking friend!

Probably not anymore, but still.

That doesn't mean you're in love with her.

"Serena, we've talked about this-"

"NO!" She shrieks. "LET ME TALK!"

You nod, partly in submission, partly in fear.

You've never seen Serena so mad.

"We've been dating for seven fucking months, Melanie! You haven't said 'I love you' to me, not once!"

Serena's first 'I love you' came only a few weeks into the relationship. She had said it eleven times since then.

You recognize that she's right. You had never said it back. You'd only smiled and kissed her some more.