The Dead World I Live In

The Dead I Give Life To (Chapter 6)

I hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now it all seemed to fit. I realised what she meant, and it was freaking wonderful. Especially Kain’s arms around me, they were wonderful, I could stay here forever...

Almost as soon as I had relaxed into him, Kain leapt out of bed, leaving me alone in the warmth. I sprawled out on the rest of the bed, not bothering to cover myself up, and I looked up at him. I put on my most suggestive face, and winked at him.

He raised his eyebrows suggestively when he saw me, making me blush and giggle.

He lent back down, and I basically launched myself at him. I wrapped my legs around him, and my tongue dove down his throat like an Olympic diver would. He grunted in pleasure, but sadly detached himself from me.

“Where are you going, darling?” I asked him, and he sniffed his armpit.

“Are you really asking me this, I smell! I blame the fifth time last night, I mean really! Woo! I’m going to go clean myself up, baby; I’ll see you for breakfast!” Kain told me, tossing me his oversized t-shirt to cover myself up with, and I caught it.

He then pulled on his pants, throwing his underwear into my wardrobe (naughty!) and leaving, but not before winking at me. Blissfully, I closed my eyes, and sank back into the bed, smelling of Kain and the dirty we did last night.

The very dirty indeed might I add.

I giggled, burying myself in the covers more. I couldn’t believe I could ever feel like this with anyone, especially not Kain. He’s lovely. I never expected this from him.

But I have doubts too. Let’s not forget that Kain and I used to rule the school as the ultimate bad power couple, until he went and kissed my Taylor Swift loving best friend. And he cheated on me with her, even if it was only just a kiss, but it still hurt me.

And now I’m doing the same thing to Paulie, which is awful because I know how bad it is to be cheated on. I hadn’t thought about any of this until now, and you know what those old zombie wives used to say:

‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’

Or as she did on iCarly:

‘Innocent until proven cheaty’

But however you want to say it, Kain and I are doing a bad thing, but to us it feels so good. We never spoke of it last night (too busy doing other things) but we know that Kain needs to end it with Paulie.

And what about Chase and my beautiful baby Nadia?

How could I ever end things with Chase? After yesterday I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at him again, and I wouldn’t ever be able to make it okay for Nadia’s sake because he never wanted her, did he?

I need Nadia, and I need Kain, but I also need Paulie, and I don’t think I can have all three.

Everything’s changed, and in such a wonderful way it has too. Well, maybe not, considering Chase, but apart from that everything’s getting better, right?

Wrong.

After finally getting dressed, I walked down to breakfast, and joined my friends at the table. Paulie beamed brightly the moment she saw me, and that’s when the guilt set in. But the moment I saw Kain’s beaming face, I was alright again. Not fully, but some of the weight was lifted.

“Morning sugar lump, ya’ll sleep alright? I wasn’t, I was up and a-listening all night, for there were some mighty strange noises, all sorts a grunting and squealing” Paulie scratched the top of her head, perplexed.