The Dead World I Live In

The Dead I Give Life To (Chapter 1)

 The bright day light of the sun disappeared into the sky sooner than I would have liked, and whether I liked it or not I found myself in the dark shed. Alone.

The wind blew through the gaps in the wooden walls and I shivered, wondering if I had imagined Jesse being in my room. Should I have even come here? Maybe I should leave.

“Chilly are we darling?” A husky voice whispered in my ear, and I nodded, not exactly sure who I was nodding too. Jesse came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. His body was warm, and I shuddered in the pleasure of the warmth.

This was so wrong.

I shouldn’t like Jesse being here, with me, alone in a dark shed in the middle of the night. I blame the baby hormones; they make me feel all kinds of crazy things. But I liked the mysteriousness of it all.

“Let go. Tell me everything, or I’m leaving” Jesse let go, but not before planting a kiss on my neck. My hand flew to the spot of skin where moments ago his lips had been, and I touched it with tentative fingers.

“You won’t leave darling. You need to know too much”

“Need to know what?” I was shaking with cold now, and the goose bumps on my arms made the little hairs stick up. Even in my thick jumper the chill of the night air was freezing.

“How our blood is the same. How we’re the same”

The shed was shadowy and had an eerie feel to it, but even in the dark I could see Jesse’s eyes blazing, a golden orange colour that made my heart stop. I hated how Jesse made me feel. He wasn’t a stranger to me, my instincts told me that much, but I didn’t know if he was a liar.

“How? How are we the same? I don’t even know you, and I’d never met you before I came here” I reminded him, and he brought a hand to my face. The warmth made my face flush red.

“Our blood. I knew you Dad, my father used to be his apprentice. Freak accident made our blood combine, and soon enough, I was like you. Well not like you. I’m not infected”

“I’m not infected!” I yelled at him, and he immediately shushed me, bringing a finger to my lips. He traced my lips with his finger, and I watched him do it. This was so wrong, on him, on me, and most importantly on Chase.

But I couldn’t stop it.

“No, you are the exact opposite of a zombie. We both are. The baby included”

“Don’t mention Chase and mine’s baby”

“It’s not his darling. It’s mine and our baby knows it. Feel” He thrust his hands on to my stomach, and I felt the baby move to get his skin. Just like the baby, I craved the feel of his skin on mine. But unlike the baby, I wasn’t happy that I felt like this.

“Get off me” I said quietly, and Jesse didn’t let go. Instead he pulled me closer to him, so our chests collided, and so I could feel his breath on me. It felt natural, like we were meant to be like this, together, touching, feeling.

Loving.

“You don’t want me too. It breaks your heart, makes your skin cold, and makes you hate everything about the earth when I let you go. And darling if you’d let me, I’d never let you go”

“I don’t need you”

This was true.

I wanted him.

 Oh god I wanted him so much it hurt, but I didn’t need him. I don’t need his love, I don’t need him, and I know that much. Chase is the only one I love, and that is never going to change. And maybe he didn’t want this baby, but I was sure that he still wants me.