Actors (Jalex)

Chapter 5

Trigger Warning: Abuse

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"Class has begun, please be seated." Mr. Way told us when the bell rang. Most of the chatter stopped as I sat at my desk. It was only period 2 and I have English, which isn't so bad. Mr. Way is pretty laid back. The only thing that sucked is that I had class with Vic and my assigned seat was next to him.

I looked over at him, forcing a smile. Maybe he'd calmed down since the weekend. "Hey.." I said, quietly.

"What did I tell you? Don't fucking talk to me." He snapped.

"Right, um, sorry.." I said quietly, looking back down at my desk. I pulled my notebook and pen out.

I don't know why it got to me so much that he hated us now. We didn't need him.

Come period 7, and a bunch of people had come to me, calling me a faggot, gay, and other rude things. So, Vic must have told someone about me and Jack. I was trying to ignore it, but truthfully, it really hurt.

I hope Jack and Kellin aren't getting as much shit as I am, they don't deserve it.

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Kellin's POV

Vic hadn't texted or called me since the weekend. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I really needed to find out. I ended up telling the guys I didn't remember what happened that night, but I did remember. Me and Vic had sex. Not only that, but, I think I liked it too. Now, I realized something I could hardly come to terms with on my own. I figured this out thanks to sleeping with Vic -- I had a huge crush on him.

I'm wondering what was going on in that pretty little head of his. It was time to find out. It's period 8, gym class. I walked into the locker room, changing into my sweats and a t-shirt. Once finished, I used the time I had left before class started, to go find Vic. When I did, I smiled at him. "Hey."

He looked at me, glaring harshly, before shoving me into a locker. "I don't like faggots!" He yelled, causing the whole locker room to burst into laughter. I looked up at Vic, trying to hold back the tears I wanted to shed.

"W-What did I do..?" I managed to squeak out.

"Just go, Kellin. No one wants you here. Maybe you should go fix that."

I had to force myself to go away from him before scurrying out of the locker room. He wanted to hurt me? Well, he got his wish. It hurt. A lot.

I didn't even think as I made my next move; leaving the school. I walked to my house, sighing. I saw my mother's old car here, which meant that my dad was home. My mom bought a newer car, and gave him the old Volvo she had before. I decided to keep walking, a few miles down the road there was a park. I could chill there for a while.

So I did, I sat on the swings for a while, swinging for a good 45 minutes just to pass the time. It was better than being at school. Oh, right. School, Vic. Vic hates me. Just like everyone else.

I went home around 3:00, when school got out, of course, still only my dad was home. I don't think my mom was due home for a few more hours.

I was careful not to be too loud; if he was sleeping, I didn't want to wake him up. I wanted to avoid him if it was possible. You see, my dad kind of hates me, deep down, I've always been gay, but I wouldn't ever come out. It was way too scary for me, but, a few years ago, my dad figured it out. So, since then, he's taken any opportunity to beat me for it. The odd thing was that he never told a soul, not even my mother. Not that I'm complaining though.

It wasn't long before I heard heavy footsteps coming toward my room, so I hurriedly put my cigarette out and put the pack away, shutting the window. My dad banged on the door, startling me. "I smell cigarette smoke, Kellin!" His voice boomed through the door. I guess he wasn't asleep. The next thing I knew, he pushed open the door, storming toward me. "What did I fucking tell you about smoking in the house?!" He yelled, as his fist connected with my jaw. I let out a whimper, trying to hold back the tears. "Well??" He urged me.

"N-Not to.." I murmured quietly.

"So why the fuck are you doing it?" He snapped, before grabbing a fistful of my hair, dragging me onto the ground. I cried out.

"Get off of me, please!" I begged, doing nothing for me but earning a kick to the ribs and a blow to the mouth.

"I'm getting real tired of your shit, faggot." He sneered, before getting down, hitting me mercilessly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I cried, wanting him to stop, but I wasn't stupid. This wasn't going to stop for a while.

Already, I could tell this would be one of the worst beatings I've ever received from him, and that scared me the most, because this was only just beginning.

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Vic's POV

I didn't know what was going through my head. So many things were. I didn't know how to feel. I shouldn't have liked what I did with Kellin, but the thing was that I did.

I'm going to hell.

I wasn't about to admit to anyone that I liked it. Not in this town, not in this school. I know I'm wrong for treating the guys so badly, but I'd keep my secret at any cost. I am not a fag. They were, they set me up. If I had never went to Jack's to stay that night, none of this would have happened.

I was so confused, so conflicted on what I felt.

On one hand, I really like Kellin. His smile, his laugh, his innocence and how delicate he looked. His hair, his body, his personality, how happy he always is. There was so much to list off about him. Who couldn't like him? But I couldn't let anyone know, so I had to push him away, I had to bully him, Jack and Alex. I even outed Alex, since he was the one who dared me and Kellin to have sex.

Sex. With another boy.

I shuddered at the thought.

I'm not gay, I'm not gay.

Now, on the other hand, I was in denial about the whole situation. Maybe I could play it off as a drunken mistake. But only if someone else found out, which they won't. I won't let them. I've been raised to believe that being gay is wrong. No man, should ever, lay with another man. It's unnatural. It's a sin, and you're going to hell if you're gay.

I'm not gay.

Boys are disgusting. In that sense anyway. I'm straight. I like girls, girls, girls. No boys, I don't like boys.

But, if I only liked Kellin in that sense, maybe I am straight, maybe it's a stupid crush. It's only one boy.

I'm not gay.

And right then and there, I decided, that I am in fact straight. I'll keep making Kellin, Alex and Jack's life a living hell, because gay is wrong. Liking boys is wrong, and so is having relationships with another boy.

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a/n: Pls don't hate Vic he's just a scaredy cat.