Scars forever

5. A vampire angel

‘’ Am i a vampire now? ‘’ My voice shook a little. I drank his blood like a crazy vampire and I cannot deny the hunger and thirst for blood I still feel.

He shooked his head though.  ‘’ No. but you are not a werewolf either. ‘’ he said.

I lifted my one eyebrow, feeling frustrated. ‘’ If i’m not a vampire, and not a werewolf.. What the heck am i? ‘’ I asked him, I meant to sound angry but I sounded sweet. I sounded far from angry or cold at all.  What the heck? 

‘’That’s your permanent voice right now, I don’t know what happened to your voice but.. it changed after the process... Maybe because you screamed a lot. ‘’ 

‘’ I screamed? ‘’ I asked, he nodded. 

‘’So, what am I now Xander?’’ I asked, mentioning his name to test it. His name rolled from my tongue almost naturally. He looked surprise for a moment but he recovered quickly and then smiled gently that made my heart skipped a beatt again. 

‘’ You are a half-vampire and a werewolf.. What happened was, when you were drained accidentally by my men I saved--- ‘’ 

The anger suddenly erupted from me when I didn’t really expect it.  ‘’ Accidentally??? They attacked me and drained me!!! They killed me! You Killed me! I am a half-killer now!! I drink blood like you killers!! I felt so.......hungry for it!! ‘’  I trailed off again when I saw pain in his eyes like he was suffering and deeply hurt by my words. But its not enough, I thought. ‘’ This is your fault!!! I am not me now!! Cant you see?? This is NOT ME!!’’ I shouted.

Then, I remembered the pain I had felt, maybe days ago.  I felt so angry. Angry to myself because I know, deep inside this was really my fault. If I didn’t ran away from my pack, if I stayed there and waited for my mate to love me... 

I closed my eyes trying to block or stop the flashbacks of my mate rejecting me, my mate making out with Priscilla in front of me,my mate who didn’t care about me, my mate who let others hurt me and also my brother who didn’t give a damn to what happens me. But it was too late. As I try to block away these thoughts, I remembered them as clear as day. I remembered Jake’s angry face, my brother’s blank face as he watched me being bullied and my pack mates’ disgusted looks. I waited for tit to vanish like the pain I felt due to having hit the wall but it just stayed there in my chest. 

The pain was overwhelming that I had to grab my chest as if I could stop it.   I sobbed with my hands covering my face. Then, I felt his cold arms wrapped around my body.  I didn’t flinched or jerked away from him. But did the opposite. I let myself sagged into him and continued to cry as he caressed my hair lovingly. 

If someone told me I would be having this kind of close physical contact with the king of vampires or being turned that day I decided to go to Jake’s party, I surely would have cried and stayed locked in my room.

‘’ I’m sorry angel... I just wanted to save you.. ‘’ He whispered in my ear. 

I cried out louder, my tears causing his shirt to become wet. ‘’ No!! don’t say sorry Xander. I-its my fault. It’s my fault.It’s my fault.. I’m sorry.. I-i should not have said that.. I-i should be thankful because you gave me second life... ‘’ I said, sobbing all through the sentence. It was a wonder he understood me.

I felt his lips on the top of my head and  felt his lips curl into a little smile.  ‘’ It’s okay angel. It’s alright. Let your tears and pain come out of your chest. Let it go.. ‘’ He whispered softly and then started to rock us back and forth. 

‘’ As time will pass by, those pain, hurt and suffering will vanish bit my bit and you will forget about him.. And even though it will take a long time for your heart to heal, I will be here for you. I promise, I will be here,  I will help you, I will love you. So do not worry my little angel, all will be good.  I promise. ‘’ 

I cried harder, really letting out the pain I feel while started to hum softly. After a while, I felt grateful for God giving me this man. I will love you he said. He will love me! This brought a smile on my face. The future did not seem to be so dark and blank because of him.

‘’ You are welcome, Angel.. ‘’ He answered back then continued to hum.

This was a new start. I thought. A new life with Alexander Grey.

We stayed in our position for minutes. After a while, I felt awkward. He has stopped humming and rocking us back and forth but now he was swaying us with no music.         ‘’ There is no music, why are you still dancing? ‘’ I asked while my head resting on his shoulder.

 ‘’ Your faint heartbeat is enough for me..’’ He replied with a chuckle.

 ‘’ I thought, vampires don’t have heartbeats? ‘’ I asked, frowning. Accoeding to the books I’ve read, vampires have frozen hearts and that the blood in their veins are only the blood from their preys.

 He kissed my forehead. ‘’ You are not a fully vampire angel, So you still have heartbeat..’’ 

‘’ Ah... Xander? ‘’ 

‘’ Yeah? ‘’ He answered, his voice were becoming softer and was almost like a whisper.

‘’ I thought Vampires tears are blood?? My tears are not. Is it also because I’m not a full vampire? ‘’ 

 I was shock when he burst out laughing. ‘’ What’s funny? ‘’ I asked, confuse but also smiled. He looked more handsome when he smiles.

‘’ Who told you that? ‘’ He asked, his voice cracking a little at the end. ‘’ Angel... That is not true.Fully vampire or not, we still have tears.That is just a story made by someone crazy like hollywood. My sweet little Angel, are you sure you are the school nerd?’’ 

I pouted. But I couldn’t stop the smile escaping from my lips. He look really HOT.  He stopped laughing. ‘’ I know I am Angel..’’ He said and I caught a glimpse of desire in his eyes.

‘’ You are.. what? ‘’ I asked him more sweetly, trying to be seductive for the very first time of my existence. I did not know what fuelled me to do so but I think it was the desire I saw in his eyes. No one has ever looked at me like that. Thanks for my new voice. Hope it will work! 

‘’ Indeed, Angel, Its working. ‘’ He replied in a husky voice. That glimpse of desire in his red eyes were now more visible. It made me shiver. ‘’ I--- ‘’ 

I was cut off when seconds later, His lips were now in mine and kissing me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I kissed him back. This was my first kiss. I thought and smiled.

Yet, as I closed my eyes, I heard a faint voice somewhere from the buried memories of my old self screaming, No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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