Give Your Heart a Break

Seven: Not a date, right?

Whew! I was wearing jeans and shirt when Ian told me that we‘d eat at Hilton’s Restaurant. I excused myself to change my clothes immediately. Luckily, I found my beige dress hanging. I grabbed it. I looked for my white stilettos and slide my feet. I combed my hair with my hand and rushed downstairs. Ever since I became a model, Nathan and Gaile, taught me how to wear the right clothes in every occasion. I am just stubborn since I am comfortable with jeans and shirts. 

The view from the rooftop is perfect! I can see the city lights as they perfectly glow. The food is superb. The ambiance felt like I am in Paris. And Ian… Everything seems perfect. I smiled on that thought. I stare at him as he slices his food. Really focus, huh? He is wearing blue v-neck sweater, his hair perfectly tousled up.

“Lovely view isn’t, Kiara?” he utters as he continues to eat. Jeez! Does he know I am staring at him? I bow and slice my steak.

“Umm… Yeah. I like the view here especially the city lights.”

“I knew you would like it here. Women really have all the same taste.” he chuckles.

“Really? So how many girls you’ve bought here?”

“Just you.” He lifts his head and looks at me.

“Huh? So how did you know us, women all have the same taste?” I frown.

“I’ve never brought anyone here aside from you. I’ve dated them in different places but the ambiance and scenery is somewhat the same. They all loved it.”

I knew it he is a player. Like every boys do, just bang and go. Urgh. Right now, I want to roll my eyes at him but I hold back.

“Oh…that’s cool.” I paused for a second. “Umm… This isn’t a date, right?” I ask.

“Yes, it is not.” He smiles. I nod. This is not a date. I could not say anything but I felt relieved with that. I would never be entitled as one of his girls, at least. Yet somehow, on the back of my mind, I am hoping it is.

***

He drove me home around 9 o’clock. “Thank you, Ian.” I smile as we reached the doorstep.

“You’re always welcome, Kiara.” His face is unfathomable.

“Good night. Drive safely.”

“I will. Good night too. See you at work.” He steps forward and kisses my left cheek.

“Umm, yeah.” I stiff. He turns his back on me and heads to his Audi. His car was long gone yet I stood outside for about 10 minutes.

What was happening to me? I frown. I rush inside the house and went to my bedroom. It is already 10 in the evening and I have to sleep early. I hate waking up early every Monday. But I have to work. I love my job— taking care of people, attending their needs, talking to them, alleviating their pain and helping them to recover. I change my dress and do my bedtime rituals before I go to sleep.

I lay down on my bed thinking about the dinner with Ian. That was the first time I’ve been ask for a dinner. Yes, it would be the first and last I guess. The scene was perfect. I remember Ian saying women have all the same taste. That does make sense but not always. We do have different preference, you know. We just know how to appreciate everything a guy did. I could have said that earlier but I had not because I was curious how he knew that. Stupid… of course he knew that because he did have relationships with girls. Well, I just wanted to know how many he had been with. I just could not express it out. That is not me. If there is something I need to say or ask, I blurt it out. Being guileless is one of my characteristics, but I used it appropriately. I thought of considering people’s feelings, trying my best not to hurt them with my words.

Ian. I find him attractive. He is so damn attractive.  He is tall, broad-shouldered, dark-copper hair, and unbelievably sexy. He has a great shape. It must be hard to maintain that.  His face… such a gorgeous one. I can stare at him the whole day. His smells good, his scent…so intoxicating. His lips…I could imagine when I kiss on those. I like him. I think so.

I turn to my right and glimpse on the wall clock. 2 AM. Jeez! My wayward thoughts and me! This is so unbelievable. Sleep now, Kiara!

I scowl with frustration on my alarm clock. It’s 5 AM. Damn!  I force myself to get up. I have to be in the hospital by 6:30 for the endorsement… and I just could not believe I just slept for 3 hours. With my 12-hour shift, how can I last long? I rush downstairs and cook omelet for breakfast. I toast the bread and make a coffee. Coffee will stay me awake, yet I will be palpitating if I drink too much of this. After I ate my breakfast, I go to the bathroom and take a shower. I can feel my body shaking. This cannot be happening; I will not stay up late anymore. This is Ian’s fault! But he’s nothing to do with this; it was I thinking of him the whole night. I shake my head with disbelief. I turn off the shower and reach for my towel.

I guess I must stop thinking of him. I get dress immediately and slip my scrub suit inside my bag. I drive with my black BMW, okay, the company’s BMW. I arrived at the hospital just in time. Listen to the endorsement, browse patient charts and had a quick rounds. I'm not new in this; I had been doing this for 2 months now. I was transferred to the ward after a year. This is good at least I don’t have critical patients to attend to. After the rounds, I head back to the nurse’s station to check the medications and prepare it cautiously. We have thirty patients in our ward with four nurses including three nursing aid and me. There had been a fire yesterday in a building near the area so they ended up here and us, taking care of the casualties. Several have burns, few have fractures, and others have suffocated. Stay wide-awake, Kiara! I know this day will be tough.