The Crying Pennant

Part 33

  “Oh no, I forgot, it’s Arthur who wants to rescue the princess so that he can marry her,” said a worried With.

  “Ahh,” ahh’d Sid, “he must be in one of these other rooms. Let’s look. Biggs, you stand just there and babble with your eyes crossed in case the guards come back.” Sid unlocked another door and looked in. He saw a television on and a sawn through bar, “If he was here he’s escaped.”

  Arianne called from the door, “No, no silly that was the elven princess’s room. Arthur’s is probably that door at the bottom.”

  Sid pushed Biggs closer to the stairs and the goblins wittered again and went down a few more steps, “I think you’re good at this Biggs,” said Sid, “you could do it part time to supplement your wages.”  He fiddled with the keys and tried a few in the lock. Looking in he noticed a slumped figure, “There’s a slumped figure here.” He pushed the door wider and he entered with With. “It’s Arthur alright, and they’ve demasked him, help me with him With.”

  The princess turned her nose up, “Oh, I say, he stinks of goblin.”

  “It’s ‘Smell of Goblin’,” said With, “part of his disguise to rescue you.”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be rescued by someone who wears ‘Smell of Goblin’ for deodorant, what will they think of me at court.”

  “Alright, alright, keep your hair on princess, we’ll wash him,” said Sid.

  “Hang on a minute,” said With, “shouldn’t he be awake by now? Let’s check him.” So saying, With checked his pulse, his temperature and looked into his eyes, “He’s so heavily concussed that he’s in a mild coma.”

  “So how is he going to rescue me if he’s unconscious?” She looked at Sid, “I don’t want to be rescued by or to marry a dwarf and monks can’t marry, that only leaves our babbling friend here.”

  “Oh, he’s lost his long term memory for a short while,” said Sid.

  Suddenly a portal opened from another world and four heavily armoured police-type figures entered.

“Move over to the wall buddy, Fantasy Police. Give us some I.D.” said the leading police figure.

  “Fantasy Police!” murmured Sid as he handed his funny character union card to the sergeant. “Who are you?”

  “We patrol the fantasy realm to see that no liberties are being taken and that things aren’t too surreal.” He looked at Sid’s card, “Sid the dwarf, on probation as a funny character. Okay.”

  “But isn’t it rather surreal you turning up here like this to question us?” said Sid the dwarf.

  “It is, but as fantasy police we have that prerogative. Anyway, this is only a spot check to warn you. We’ve been watching you and think you’ve had a little too much help from the author. Even in a fantasy universe there are some rules, you know.