The Crying Pennant

Part 13

  The group trooped over a bridge and into Undercastleton the friendlier of the two towns.

  Brother Lee’s cottage had a lovely rose hedge with a gate leading into a well stocked herb garden. He fumbled for the key hanging around his neck.

  “Please come in,” he said as he opened the door.

  They entered into the roomy but well cluttered hall and began to dump their rucksacks on the floor by the bookcase and piano.

  Sid the dwarf looked admiringly, “‘Tis a nice place you have here Lee, do ye own it yerself?”

  “I do Sid, paid for with my puppet theatre and conjuring tricks. I get fifty gold coloured coins an hour for children’s parties!”

  “I could do puppet theatres, Uncle Sid, children’s dwarf entertainer.”

  “I could do them as well, Uncle Arthur of the Britons, children’s kingly entertainer.”

  Biggs started, “I could do them as well, Uncle...”

  “I think that’s enough,” said the author, “things are starting to get silly, you can’t carry a joke on that long.”

  “Monty Python sketches do,” dobbed Biggs.

  “And so do Sesame Street sketches,” said Sid the dwarf.

  The others looked at Sid as he curled up on the nice high backed armchair in front of the empty fire grate.

  “The kettle’s on in the kitchen. Do you all take milk and sugar?” asked Lee.

  “Two for me and no milk,” said Biggs.

  “All the rest have milk and one sugar,” said Arthur.

  Sid piped, “None for me and no sugar.”

  “Yearch!” chorused the others who all looked at Sid with disdain.

  “It must be because he’s a Scottish dwarf,” thought Arthur out loud.

  Sid decided to help Lee, “I’ll help you make the tea,” he said. “I can make it as well as my mother-in-law.”

  Suddenly Sid’s mother-in-law fell from the roof. “Right then, I’ll make the tea and you lot sit down,” said Sid the dwarf’s mother-in-law.

  Brother Lee was quite bemused but showed Sid’s mother-in-law to the kitchen, “Here’s the crockery and the tea bags are in this pot, here’s the milk and sugar,” showed Lee.

  Sid’s mother-in-law was amazing, tea and crumpets and the washing up afterwards. Everyone agreed that she did a good job.

  “That was very nice Sid’s mother-in-law, by the way what do we call you?” wanted to know Arthur.

  “You can call me Mum,” she said just before she disappeared up into the roof again.

  “That’s very useful of her Sid”, said Biggs “does she always drop in unexpectedly, like?”

  “At the oddest times, but she has a good heart and a beautiful dwarven daughter who has a fair beard.” Sid spoke remembering his wife. “I hope this adventure doesn’t take too long I want to get back to her and the sprogs.”

  Lee walked back into the room and addressed the assembly, “I’m ready now, I’ve packed some useful things into my giant rucksack.”

  “Righto, I’m the leader”, said Arthur “so we’ll go. Have you remembered everything Lee?”

Lee thought for a moment and then said, “The next door neighbour’s looking after the cat and the dragon can look after himself.”