No Wings To Fly

Chapter Fourteen

I was crazy. I was sure of it.

Why did I have to care about a dying girl this much? We had only just met, and I was talking to her and feeling things for her as if we had known each-other for a lifetime. When I couldn't talk to her, my only thoughts were of Sam. I couldn't get her out of my head.

I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even think straight knowing she was hurt. And the worst part was, there was nothing I could do about it. My friend was dying and I couldn't do a single thing to help it. Well, I laughed. I did make a wish on a shooting star about it. But we all know magic isn't real. Dreams don't just come true.

I sat in the hospital lobby, probably looking the the biggest weirdo in the world. My hair was still all messy from sleeping, and my eyes were bloodshot. I was pretty sure I still had sleep wrinkles on my face. I had forfeited my usual nap after school to come see Sam. I'm not saying that was a big sacrifice or anything. I shouldn't even depend on naps like that after school. I was just lazy.

So, here I was. The weirdo who had been too busy with the girl he barely knew and trying to make her smile instead of hanging out with his friends. I didn't care though. Even if Samantha were dying, I swore to give her the best time on this earth possible. I didn't want to think of that. Samantha dying? No, I couldn't.

I ran an unsteady hand through my hair and hugged my knees to my chest. Ten minutes until I started my rounds through the rooms of the hospital, without Sam there. It felt as if I had been hit by a boulder. Again, as I had been doing for the past couple of nights, I doubted my feelings for her. What was I doing?

Then, I remembered why I had such a crush on her. Samantha Jayne White was beautiful. She was kind. She was all of the things I had told her last night and more. I just...

My heart felt torn in two different ways. One side pulled me closer while the other side pushed me away at an alarming rate. But I was stuck now. I liked Sam. Gosh, I had even told her. 

My time was up, as I had to start doing my rounds. From room to room I went, fulfilling my duty for extra credit. It was then when I came upon Sam's room. I stopped.

With all the courage I could muster, I opened the door and set the pills inside the room.

With a sad smile, I whispered, "Hi Sam."

As I was leaving, I heard something in a whispered tone. "Hi Jay."