wasted youth ✢ j.v.

Broken

August 26, 2003

The clouds weren't covering the sky like the TV said. The sun was shining bright, though it wasn't really warm. The girl brown eyes were covered with the sunglasses that protect her eyes from all the clarity from the day. All the people dressed in black were too far for her to listen something. Nobody would be talking, anyway. Whispers would be all that she would be hearing, and Karielle was with her head too numb to go there and listen to all those people trying to make her feel alright.

Her arms were uncovered and cold, but she didn't cared at all. In a matter of fact, Elle didn't cared about anything at the moment. And she didn't know when she would again. She pushed her body away from the tree she was leaning and turned her back to the funeral. She could just turn around and be with the people she loved, but she needed to think. Something in her mind was telling her to go and stay with her family, to stay away from her own thoughts, but she didn't listened to it. She just kept going; just kept walking away.

The streets that she took were all empty; just like her. The circus wasn't really close to the cemetery and the shoes Karielle wore weren't the best for the walk either. But she didn't cared, she would end up there, one way or another. It would all be worth it onetime. At least, that was what she hoped.

Her mind was a mess of thoughts that couldn't ever be put into words by the smartest mind. Guilt. Anger. Self-hatred. An intense feeling of numbness; all at once. At the same time she was being overwhelmed with a thousand of feelings, she felt nothing at all. She was exactly like the ocean; constantly changing from calm to hell. And when you get so torn between both of these two, you don't even know who you are anymore.

She didn't know how much it took her to get to the circus, it could be one hour, or it could be four. The now brunette girl wasn't really paying attention to that.

The sun wasn't shining anymore, and the clouds took over the sky. In the moment she got in the parking lot where the trailers were, she ripped her shoes off, carrying them in one hand. She knew exactly where Jerome's trailer was parked, so she didn't have to look for a long time. For some reason, she stood there. She didn't knock, she didn't call him... She just stood there like a statue.

Then she broke.

Her shoes slipped away from her grip and fell on them floor, while she had to hold on to the trailer before crashing down on the floor as well. All the thoughts that she was trying to repress, everything, it just... Broke. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't just keep going like a stone cold, like that wasn't affecting her. Her sister was dead, and she could do nothing about it anymore.

◆

It only took half an hour to Jerome finally notice the older girl outside the trailer. He mentally thanked the universe for his mother not be at home that day before standing on the door.

"Look who finally decided to show up." he said, provocative. But for the first time since they met, Karielle didn't snapped back. She just stayed quiet, her chin supported by her knees. "You're gonna give me the silent treatment, uh?"

"Destinee's dead, Jerome." her voice was husky. His face changed from a irritated to a confused one.

"What?"

"You heard it right." Elle sighed, running a hand over her face. "I found her three days ago, hanging from the ceiling." The lack of information leaved him uncomfortable, but he stayed quiet. Jerome was looking at her, but the girl eyes were lost on something he couldn't find. He turned back and picked a jacket that was laying on his bed, throwing it at her. She was shaking from the cold.

"You gonna get sick." he said, getting out of the trailer and standing by her side.

"See if I care." the answer was followed by a sick laugh. "I mean, can you even believe all this shit? I lost my mom, now my sister. The only thing that matters to my father is that fucking company."

"Being like this won't bring her back, Karielle. You know that." Jerome already knew her for three years. He knew how to break all that walls. For a few seconds, she finally looked at him. She had taken off her sunglasses and thrown them somewhere when she got there. Silently, she stood up, taking the jacket with her. Both of them stayed in silence.

"I'm moving to Gotham." she whispered, so low that the ginger could barely hear it. He didn't showed any expression.

"The circus go there around..."

"February." she finished. A tiny smile appeared on her lips, contradicting the tear sliding down her cheek. "I know the schedules."

"Why are you here, Ann?" he asked the question that was bothering him since the beginning.

"I, uh... I didn't know where else to go." Karielle pulled the hood of the jacket up while talking. A drop of rain hit her nose. "I'm gonna go... See you around."

"We're moving tomorrow." he reminded her, still in the same spot.

"I know." she started walking away, but stopped.

"Karielle?" Jerome called. She didn't turned back at him, she just stopped. "Take care of yourself."

"I always do."

~/~

If there is ANY grammar mistake, please, tell me, I wrote this at two in the morning. I think some things can't be always fun, right? XD There was already a long time since I wrote something like this for the last time, but I think I did well. Drama has always been my thing, after all. 

Anyhow! Hope you guys liked, 'cause I re-wrote this chapter for at least five times. Then I finally went complaining on my girlfriend head and she helped me with everything <3 Thanks, Babydoll. Love ya, blondie.

Some things may or may not be a little bit confused in all of your heads, but I promise all will be explained on the next chapters. And I know these two first ones were pretty boring (?), but they were just so that you know how everything started. Next chapter the real fun begin, I swear lol. I would like to thank as well all the people who voted and read the story. THE BOOK HAS ALMOST 100 VIEWS WITH JUST FOUR CHAPTER GUYS, THANK YOU SO MUUUUUCH <3 I love each one of you, really really really <3

Now I'm off.

✧ Anna ✦