Karkat reacts to: NepKat

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Eminencentrose requested NepKat. I think.

KARKAT: SIGH.
KARKAT: I ALREADY KNOW THIS SHIP, I DON'T EVEN NEED A PHOTO FOR IT BUT I HAVE TO PUT ONE SO HERE WE GO.

KARKAT: OKAY, HOW DO I BEGIN WITH THIS ONE? KARKAT: OH, I KNOW!! HOW ABOUT WITH

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KARKAT: OKAY, HOW DO I BEGIN WITH THIS ONE?
KARKAT: OH, I KNOW!! HOW ABOUT WITH.......NO. HELL NO. FUCK NO.
KARKAT: NEPETA AND I, I AS IN *THIS* KARKAT. ALPHA TIMELINE KARKAT. THE SINGLE LIVING KARKAT OUT OF ALL THE DEAD KARKATS, NEPETA AND I WILL NEVER HOOK UP.
KARKAT: AND NOT BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD. THOUGH THAT DOES PLAY A BIG PART IN WHY I WON'T DATE HER. I'M NOT A NECROPHILIC.
KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T THINK SHE AND I WOULD WORK. MAINLY BECAUSE I DON'T SEE HER MORE THAN A MEOW BEAST OBSESSED LOONEY THAT ENJOYS DRAWING IN THE BLOOD OF ANIMALS SHE SLAUGHTERS.
KARKAT: AND I RESPECT THAT. BUT IT'S JUST THE SHIT SHE DRAWS WITH THE BLOOD. SHE TRIES TO MAKE HER SHIPPING GRIDS OR CHARTS OR WHATEVER AS "INCONSPICUOUS" AS POSSIBLE BUT JESUS FUCK THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!! EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM!!!!
KARKAT: THE WORST ONE IS THE ONE WHERE SHE AND I ARE SHARING A PASSIONATE YET GENTLE SMOOCH ON THE WALL IN EQUIUS' RESPITEBLOCK.
KARKAT: SO YEAH, THAT'S ONE. TWO WOULD BE THAT SHE DEFINITELY DESERVES BETTER.
KARKAT: I USED TO CONSTANTLY HEAR EQUIUS MUMBLE UNDER HIS BREATH AROUND ME ABOUT HOW "NEPETA DESERVES BETTER" AND HE'S RIGHT.
KARKAT: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE *FUCK* SHE SEES IN ME, I WAS A GRADE A DICK BAG TO HER AND YET SHE STILL FELT FLUSHED TOWARDS ME. WEIRD.
KARKAT: NOW I'M NOT SAYING THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN ANYWHERE. I'VE SEEN A FAIR SHARE OF KARKATS AND NEPETAS HAVE A LOVING TEA PARTY IN THE MIDDLE OF GIANT CLUSTER FUCK OF CONFUSED GHOSTS. SO SOME LUCKY VERSIONS OF HER GOT TO LIVE HER DREAM OF ENTERING MY FLUSHED QUADRANT. HOPEFULLY SHE'S HAPPY WITH WHATEVER SELF LOATHING ASSHOLE SHE ENDED UP WITH.
KARKAT: ALL IN ALL IF SHE AND I WERE TO MEET UP AGAIN IN THIS TIMELINE AND SHE WERE TO ASK ME OUT FOR SOME FUCKED UP REASON, I WOULD HAVE TO REJECT HER BECAUSE SHE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN A GUY THAT SENT HER MOIRAIL OFF TO DIE.

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