Forever December[2011 Watty Awards]

Forever December: The Epilogue ...where it ends

*Forever December*

*The Epilogue*

The car rolled down the familiar pavement, sloshing the newly formed puddles on the ground. Even though it was cold, I rolled the window down ever-so-slightly, smelling that same smell that had covered the city of Chicago all those years ago.

In reality, it had only been three years since my family had moved to Arizona.

“Are we dere yet momma?” A little soft voice cried.

I turned back in the passenger’s seat to find my little Rian, pouting. Her black hair was now to her shoulders. Her little blue eyes stared at me in wonder. “We’ll be there soon.”

“But where are we going?” She whined.

“To see someone that mommy and daddy miss very much,” Parker answered from the driver’s seat, beside me. I smiled, though it wasn’t too happy of a smile. In the past three years, much had happened. Parker had proposed to me and Rian had grown – a lot. I had been right; the time was passing quickly.

“Is it a kid? I like to play with other kids,” Rian squealed from the backseat.

“Yes, honey.”

Soon, we were there, at the same place I’d had so many horrible memories in. I stepped out of the car and pulled Rian out of her booster seat. I held out my hand to her once I set her down. “Hold my hand, Ri.” She did so.

I looked at the yard of stones that were scattered everywhere. The tears were burning in my eyes as we walked towards the cemetery. We walked around them all until we found the one that I was looking for.

Rowan Henry Hendricks

I stared at the headstone which lay above my son’s body. I knew that Rian wouldn’t completely understand yet, but someday she would. “Where’s the kid, mommy?” Rian wondered.

“Right here, Ri,” Parker said, pointing at the headstone. “That’s your brother you know. He was born at the same time as you,” he explained, kneeling down in front of the small headstone. His fingers brushed over Rowan’s engraved name.

In my free hand were flowers in which I’d brought for my baby boy. I handed one to Rian. “Can you go and put it by the pretty stone, baby?” I asked her, smiling sadly. Rian nodded eagerly and placed the lily on the stone.

I looked up at Parker who had begun to cry. I stood up from where I was knelt down and put my hand on his arm. Words couldn’t describe how much it hurt to watch one of our children grow, while the other lay ageless in the ground. I wrapped my arms around him, not letting go. “I love you,” I whispered to him.

“And, I love you.” Our lips met for a moment. Then, we were both in tears.

“No cry, daddy and mommy,” Rian said, tears coming to her eyes. I let out a soft laugh and picked her up, holding her close. She hated when we were sad.

“We’re only crying because we love you,” I said quietly. “Okay, baby?”

“Okay….” She mumbled into my neck. I leaned down and placed the rest of the flowers on Rowan’s grave. I didn’t want to leave, ever again.

I’ll still never know why it happened. Maybe not until I’m in heaven, with my sweet little angel. I will forever cry at the thought of him. I will forever hate the fact that he was taken away from me. I will forever be myself.

As we walked back to the car, I glanced back at Rowan; and for a moment, I thought I could see a little three year old boy, sitting on the stone, waving goodbye to his mother. I waved back, caring not if it was my imagination or reality.