I Don't Want To Forget

ENTRY #10: Puzzle (Version 2)

I saw the piece that'll complete me.
I saw it again.

Maybe, you're confused
And I am so nervous

So how could I start my story?
When I just saw my missing piece?

I am a puzzle
And he's a puzzle piece

I am a mindful art.
A black and white one; gloomy, simple, boring.

I am contented with my life, I am not looking for more.
But  then, he came.

He came to me like a thunderstorm
And I cannot do anything because I'm a mere stone.

He's a poor lost soul
And I'm willing to became his foolish map

I was hypnotized with his colorful gaze
And I fell deep.

Yes, I am.
I really am. I knew it was trouble,
He's a trouble.
But I am a willing victim, a suicidal prey
Who's begging for more.

God! I am pathetic!
I know, those laughter's and fears are worth it.
I know that every burst of anger, every drop of tears are worth it.

I am nothing but a handicapped
When it comes to him.

He used to hug me with his fire- coated body,
It could burn my skin. I am well aware of everything.
Yet I let him.

He touched me like
He's taking the air of my lungs with him
And I know it's deadly
But I can give it all to him.

He's a parasite within my mind, heart, body and soul.
He corrupted me.
He became my skin.
My air to breathe.

I did everything so we could fit perfectly.

And that's when I realized.
I realized that he cannot love me as I love him.
He cannot sacrifice himself as I could give my life for him.

He was selfish, I am selfless.

He was composed of color, I am made of black and white.

That's when it hit me.
I am damn too late to realize! Damn too late.

I was falling deep
But I am falling into an abyss of confusion,
An abyss of emptiness and sorrow in the pits of hell.

I am broken.
No, I am always broken.
I look at him blindly and I am at fault.

Maybe I am just desperate
But I am ready to be a fool for him.
I'm a willing victim, a suicidal prey.

I look at him blindly
And forgot that he's a colorful art and
I am just black and white.

I look at him blindly
And forgot that he was a walking disaster
and trouble to my life.

I look at him blindly
And forgot that he's punishing me
With his every touch.

I look at him blindly! I look at him blindly.
But, I cannot look straight at him
'Cause I already gave up... so I am letting him go.

He shattered me into pieces
And now, I'm all alone
As sadness started to grow.

I saw the piece that'll complete me.
I saw it again.

I knew how I reacted
As I saw my missing piece.

I saw it! I saw it.

But I know, someone already took it
Because it is not for my puzzle to fit.

- A.M.J. (Evanjelai)

Monday, October 5, 2015