The Fearful Institute

Hatred

Aleks is a thinker...not a talker.

He's someone who can't escape their thoughts.

Depression is like his disease.

And he really doesn't like people, only but one.

Aleks sits in the doctor's office waiting to get some kind of medication for his recent behavior after the room check two days ago. They separated him and Eddie ever since Eddie attacked one of the guards because they were going to take the flowers away. Aleks found out that he stole those flowers for him, he got upset as well. He had every right to because those flowers were supposed to be his now, and they were going to take them away. Aleks tried to take them back by getting on the guards back. He just got a shot of sleeping medication in his back instead of succeeding in getting the flowers back. He doesn't know what happened to Eddie after he blacked out, if they got him with the stuff to or if they did something else with him.

The doctor walks into his office with Aleks's personal folder and he opens it up on the table. Aleks doesn't bother looking at his file; it's really not worth his time to re-look at his problems. He's here because his mother clearly thinks he needs to work on some issues, or she's just trying to get rid of the son that couldn't do better than her during school hours. The doctor takes a deep breath and starts to write notes down on his notepad; it looks just like Eddie's. He's starting to think that is it really necessary to cuff him to the chair?

"How are you right now Aleks?" He asks and takes a seat in his black rolling chair that looks almost too comfortable for Aleks fitting. The thoughts start to float around calmly in his mind, usually they're not calm at all; it must be the drugs.

Well doctor, he feels...weird...tired...worthless...stupid...annoying...sad...crying...unloved...not good enough...broken...ugly...fat...retarded...huge...self harm...hate...hurt...alone...anxiety...depressed...irritated...angry...useless...no one cares about him...depression...suicide...cuts...self hatred...and he's lonely."

"Fine," he says in a muted voice and he twists his wrists around in the leather cuffs that are strapped around his wrists against the chair's arms. The doctor's eyes narrow and he has a questioning look on his face, maybe he's getting the idea that one of Aleks's traits is lying; and he's damn good at it. Aleks doesn't want to take any medication that will screw around with his emotions and decisions; honestly...he believes that there is something wrong with him, but nothing terrible to have to take medication for it.

"Let's be honest now," the doctor says and he holds his hands together in front of him, Aleks takes a peek at his folder and the doctor quickly folds it together. "I'm sorry, that's not for you to look at." He admits and sets the folder in one of his drawers behind his desk.

"I said..." Aleks pauses and looks around the room, the anxiety is starting to pour out of him again, and the sweat starts to run down the sides of his head. "I'm fine." He finishes.

"I'm going to put you on a medication that will calm you down and it will calm your nerves, you won't be quite as aware of your surroundings as you are right now." The bald doctor explains and writes the code for the pills on his notepad. Aleks shakes his head and he starts to sniff up snot, he doesn't want to show tears, but he also doesn't want to be someone he's not.

"Did I say something Aleks?" He asks and looks shocked, his expression looks worrying...like he's nervous that he did something wrong. Aleks keeps shaking his head and he looks down with his eyes shut, the second stage now comes; denial. This can't be real, his mother loves him and she would never send him to a place that held monster in the cracks of the walls.

"I don't want to take any medication; I want to be myself...not a zombie that's not really there in the mind." Aleks lets a couple tears fall onto his black shirt and his hands start to tremble from the lack of blood flowing through his veins in the wrist. The doctor looks astonished at what he just explained to him, he almost seems...sad and sorry for the boy that's shedding sadness out of his body.

"I'm sorry, but this medication is going to help you with your issues. The anger that was radiating from your body a couple nights ago was more shocking and more uncontained as you think." He shallowly says in a concerned yet calm voice, he writes down more notes on his notepad and looks back up at Aleks; he has tears in his eyes and they're bloodshot. All he wants right now is to see Eddie, know where he is and talk to him.

The doctor stands up and escorts him out of his office, the nurse walks through the halls with Aleks and keeps her guard up and stares at him with caution. Even the nurses are afraid of him, they take him to his new room and there are two girls talking to each other about the garden that's behind the institute. He's not sure what's so interesting about a garden that grows carrots, pumpkins, and peas. They turn at the same time, identical faces and feature; twins. Aleks takes a few more steps closer to his bed before the guard throws his luggage right by him on the floor.

"Hi," one of the twins says. Her hair is up in a bow and she's wearing a skinny and almost see through dress, while the other one wears the same, except its blue instead of purple. Aleks can only smile, he doesn't want them to get the idea that he has been crying, he wants to feel strong and that he can block people away of his feelings.

"You're sad," the other one states and Aleks looks at her with wide eyes. He feels like asking how she knew, but it's pretty obvious because eyes are so blood shot he looks like he just got in a fight; punched in the eyes so many times they were sore.

"Yeah," Aleks replies and throws his luggage on his bed and opens it up; starting to unpack and throwing the clothes in his dresser. Once he reaches the bottom of the dresser, he finds a note and opens it up. His eyebrows pull together, but a smile stretches across his face right when he reads the very first words.

Dear Aleks,

If you were suddenly gone, like you weren't you anymore, how would you react? How do you think the world would react? The second stage sucks, I know...the denial swells up in your chest...you're saying that your parents wouldn't abandon you in this hell...but they did and now you're stuck here. Meet me behind the institute, by the garden.

-Eddie

Aleks looks up and wipes the last tear from his cheek, he runs down the stairs and passed the students standing the middle of the halls. He reaches the back door and opens it, he sees Eddie holding his arms, Eddie turns his head and there are stitches running across his forehead. Aleks covers his mouth and sprints towards him, he stops a few feet away.

"They would bury kids here that couldn't handle pleasing the doctors." Eddie says in a whisper and he turns his entire body so that it's facing Aleks.

"W-what?" Aleks asks in complete concern, what the hell does Eddie mean by that?

"Under these vegetables there are bodies that shouldn't be there, they should still be here." Eddie says and takes a couple steps towards Aleks until their noses are almost touching.

"Do you smoke?" Eddie adds and takes a cigarette from his back pocket and a lighter, he lights one up for himself and waits for Aleks to answer.

"No." Aleks says and shakes his head, demanding Eddie to put the toxin back in his pocket.

"Well, maybe you should...sad boys smoke a lot." He smiles and takes a drag of his toxic rolled up tobacco and blows it out of his mouth and nose.

They both see the nuns walking out of the institute and demanding that the kids come back inside so that the future rain doesn't get them a cold.