Friends to Lovers... Impossible!

I'll be right here by your side

I drop my eyes from his and stared down at my fingernails, avoiding eye contact. The hot pink nail polish on my nails were already starting to fade. Unable to look at him I quietly sat there and scrape the nail polish off my fingernails.

Just like he use to Nate lift my chin up until I was looking at him. "Look me in the eyes princess." I did what he wanted. "Are you feeling sorry again?"

I silently nodded.

Nate let go of my chin, grab a chair and sat facing me until we were at eye level. He then took my hands in his and squeeze them tight. "Didn't I tell you to not feel sorry anymore? Remember how I said that I don't regret anything at all." I nodded again. "If you know that already then stop feeling sorry princess because I am not sorry for anything that has happen. I already knew when I confess to you that you liked Kevin. However at that time I thought maybe I still had a chance because you guys weren't together yet."

"Wait, so you already knew that I liked Kevin? I didn't find out until just recently though."

Nate reach up and pinch my right check playfully, "That's because you can be a slowpoke sometimes. Everyone knew but you Kou, even I could see that you had feelings for Kevin when I first met you."

I brought my right hand to rub the spot where he pinch me, "So that means you still confess to me knowing very well that I already had someone I like."

"I sure did, I thought just maybe I had a chance."

"I am a slowpoke aren't I? Not only did I not realize my feelings I didn't even notice yours until you told me"

"But that makes you all that much cuter."

I smile at him signaling my thanks. Unsure of what to say I sat there staring at Nate waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, I look down at our hands and realize that Nate was still grasping my hand in his. I made a quick move to pull my hand away but when I did Nate grip it tighter, preventing me from letting go.

"Nate..." I began saying. Before I could continue he took his right hand and seized a strand of my hair, like he did so many times before, and twirl it around his fingers.

"Are you happy?" He asked quietly

"Yes I am, I am very happy." I replied honestly.

Nate grin, "That's good."

"Are you happy Nate?" I ask, anticipating his question.

After a silent pause he answered, "I could be much happier if you were with me and by my side."

I felt horrible then, mostly when I clearly saw a shade of sadness wash over his eyes. I always wonder why Nate couldn't fall in love with someone who deserves his love. Why did it have to be me of all people? "Nate, I'm sor-"

"Don't be, as long as you're happy, then that already makes me happy. That's all I want, is for you to always be smiling," He brought the strand of hair to his lips and softly kiss it. As he let the strand of hair slip through his fingers and let it drop back on my shoulder, I felt like this was Nate's final good-bye to me. A good-bye to a love that could never be.

I was about to reply when I felt Nate's grip loosen from my hand. With a huge grin he continued, "Well, I think I should probably let go of your hand now, that's if I don't want to end up in the hospital. Confused, I turned around to where Nate was looking at, behind me with his harms cross across his chest was a very unhappy Kevin.

I shot up from my chair and yank my hand from Nates, "Kevin it's not..."

"What it looks like." Nate said finishing my sentence. "We were just talking."

Kevin was not budging from his spot nor would he stop glaring at Nate. "Talking doesn't require you to hold my girlfriend's hand does it Fisher."

"You're right," Nate exclaimed while getting up from his chair. He now stood face to face with Kevin. "I promise I won't do it again." Nate made a little cross on his heart signaling his promise. "I just wanted to say one last good-bye to Kou, that's all." Nate turned to me and smile, "Until next time princess."

"Yes Nate, until next time."

Nate took a step towards me to give me a kiss on the forehead, when Kevin cleared his throat really loud. "Oh yeah, sorry bout that." Nate said stepping back from me. He said his good-nights and headed out the library doors.

When I saw Nate exit out the door I finally turn around to face Kevin. "Are you mad at me?" I said quietly, unable to meet his eyes.

Instead of hearing a reply I felt myself pulled into a crushing hug. Kevin face rested on the crock of my neck as he squeeze me tight. It was almost like he was scared of me despairing and never coming back. Concern I ask, "Kevin, what's wrong? Is everything alright?"

Still holding me tight and not letting go I felt him nod. He might have signal that he was fine but I knew that he was clearly lying to me. Kevin never acted this way, now I was even more concern. I brought my right hand up and rub his back hoping to relief whatever was bothering him. "Kevin, I know you're lying to me. Can you please just tell me what's on your mind, your scaring me?"

He finally loosen his hold on me and pulled back until he could see my face. "It's just..." Kevin started to say, "It's just that I was scared that maybe you changed your mind."

"Change my mind, on what?" I replied completely confused.

"On us." Kevin said quietly and looking away from me. At that moment I never seen Kevin so vulnerable. He was always been so strong willed and nothing brought him down. I just couldn't believe that he seeing me with Nate could bring him so much insecurities. He was actually scared I would leave him for someone else. I honestly didn't know what to say for him to understand he is the only one I want to be with, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I grab his face with both my hands and brought his mouth down on mine. Kevin instantly wrap his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him once again and deepen the kiss. My arms made their way around his neck and pull him down even more, our mouths intertwining with each other's. The words we couldn't say were express in that mouthwatering kiss that made both of us breathless.

Kevin broke the kiss first to rest his forehead on mine. We gaze at each other as our breath synchronize. Our eyes keep contact as Kevin pulled away from me slightly. He brought his hand up to remove the bangs that had fallen partial on my face to the back of my ear. His hand then trailed on the side of my face and he lean down to kiss me lightly on lips. "I love you," He said after the light kiss.

I knew this is the time I say it back to him, but somehow I just couldn't do it.

I looked up at him without saying anything and I knew then that he knew I wasn't ready. He didn't push me into saying it back nor did he get mad instead he said, "It's o.k. if you aren't ready to say it yet, just know that when you are ready to tell me you love me, I'll be right here by your side."

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-loveispriceless