notes ; namjoon

deux

when i woke up in the morning, Namjoon had already left for his morning run. the sheets of our bed still warm beside me. i put on socks and walked towards the washroom, light streaming in and tinting our pure white room golden. on the bathroom door was a sticky note that had sloppy handwriting. on it read:

Jagiya <3 I went for a run. I got you some stuff so we can go eat when I get back. I love you. -Joon <3 <3

i sighed. i was still upset about yesterday but i could see his effort to fix things. you grabbed the sticky note and pushed open the door. i looked at the dress hung on the mirrors corner. i began to panic. it was a formfitting knit dress. it was quite short and sleevless, but was the most gorgeous shade of green.  the dress itself had no reason to make me panic, but the way you'd recently thought about your body was . i hated the way a formfitting dress made my stomach look, especially after you'd gained a bit of weight. i took his shirt off and stared in the mirror. i stared at my curves and gaps, ins and outs.  there wasn't any way you'd make yourself think you looked nice in that dress. you must've stared for a long time, because when you looked up; Namjoon was behind you, staring as well.  you saw concern on his face as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close. he stuffed his face into the crook of your neck and looked up into the mirror, where your eyes met. you felt a hot sting of tears in your eyes the closer he pulled you to him. you could feel his lips move against your skin when he whispered "Jagi, you're freaking gorgeous. Even the prettiest of meadows have dead patches, and yours are so small I can't see them at all." You kept staring. I hate my stomach. I hate my chin. I hate my hands. I hate my thighs. I hate my arms. Unknowingly saying it all out loud. Namjoon walked around to the other side of you, and kissed all the spots you'd listed, leaving wet marks all over your body. He grabbed the dress and slipped it over your head. He pushed his hand against your abdomen before leaning in and pecking your jawline. He walked out of the closet and into the shower. you looked at yourself in the mirror and felt your face get hot. you don't deserve him. you looked at the spot where he placed his hand as he kissed you, and there in its place was a sticky note, with the words

You're a beauty Jagiya.

on them.