Remenissions (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 92

Martina's POV

I had never been so happy to see someone in my life than when I opened the door and saw Lana standing there. I wanted to cry with relief, finally I could say what I wanted to say, apologise for everything I'd done to her.

Well that's what I wanted to do, but me being me, it took a little bit before I actually broke down and told Lana what was going on, and Lana being Lana forgave me. She was a better woman than me.

I was happy that she had forgiven and we spent the day talking, catching up. As much as I was hurt by her pregnancy it also intrigued me and I spent a good part of the day with my hand on her stomach, talking to her baby. I couldn't wait to meet this baby when it was born and as I sat there I realised that I was excited, I was excited for Lana and Matt and I was excited for this baby.

It was late afternoon when Lana got a call and just by the look on her face I knew it was Matt and I smiled again, he was just so good for her and once again I was just happy that everything was working for them.

We said goodbye and I promised I'd see her tomorrow and I would, but tonight, tonight I needed to talk to Brian, I needed to apologise for my behaviour.

I sat there waiting, I mean if Matt was back that would mean Brian was too, only he hadn't come up to the room yet, and I sat there, waiting and waiting.

Finally, nearly an hour and a half after Lana left I heard the key in the door, but I just sat there, in the dark waiting and crying. I had started crying half hour ago when I'd realised Brian was avoiding coming back to the room, coming back to me.

"Fuck Marty." He cried as he turned on the light. "You scared me."

"Sorry." I said, wiping my face.

"What the fuck are you doing sitting in the dark?" He asked, looking at me with wide eye's.

"Just thinking." I said softly, sitting up straight. "So what did you get up to today?"

He shrugged. "Not much, we just hung out, had a few beers."

I nodded. "Sounds like fun."

"Yeah." He said softly, going to the little bar fridge and grabbing a water. "So." He said turning to me. "Marty I think we need to talk."

I nodded. "I think we do."

We did, we did need to talk, only I was scared about what he was going to say, I was scared he wanted to break up and I remembered what it felt like last time. I didn't want to go through that again, I just couldn't.

"So." He said, sitting on the couch and looking at me. "What's going on Marty, you don't talk anymore, so I never know what's going on."

"I don't know." I whispered. "I just......" I let my voice trail off.

"Is this it?" He suddenly asked. "Is it over?"

I couldn't help it, I burst into tears.

"God Marty." He cried. "Talk to me, please."

"What do you want me to say Brian." I sobbed. "That I'm a horrible person, that I've treated people, including you, like shit, because I already know this, I know it."

"Marty." He said. "You're not a horrible person, you're not and god, I wished I'd never suggested having a baby."

I wiped my face, shaking my head. "I talked to Lana today." I said softly. "I apologised."

"Good, that's good."

"I guess I should apologise to you too, I mean I've been horrible, to everybody." And I knew I had been, it just hurt admitting it.

"No Marty, don't apologise." He said looking down at his hands and I knew it, we were over, he was breaking up with me.

"Fine." I sniffled. "I see." And I stood up.

"Where are you going?" He asked frowning.

"To pack my stuff, get a flight home." Home, what a joke, I didn't have a home.

"Oh." He said quietly. "I see."

I see, that was it, he see's? What the fuck does he see?

I started blubbering. "I'm sorry it didn't work."

"Me too." He mumbled. "What ever happened to for better or worse?"

"What?" I asked him, wiping my face again.

"For better or worse Marty." He said looking at me. "I thought we married each other for better or worse."

"I thought so too." I sobbed.

"God." He groaned, grabbing hold of my hand. "Marty, please, talk."

He pulled me down next to him and wrapped his arm's around me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, burying my face in his chest.

"No Marty I'm sorry." He murmured, holding me close. "I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me and I'm sorry that you felt pressured to have a baby."

"You didn't pressure me."

"Yeah Marty, to begin with I did." He whispered.

"I just want to make you happy." I murmured.

"God Marty." He whispered, pulling back to look down at me. "You do make me happy."

"I do?"

"Yes." He whispered, stroking my cheek. "You do."

He kissed me softly and I closed my eye's, enjoying it. I loved him so much and I just didn't want to imagine my life without him in it.

"You make me happy." I whispered. "You're my everything."

I felt him smile against my lips. "Good." He murmured, kissing me again.

We sat there for a little while, just holding each other, just appreciating each other, which was something we hadn't been doing lately.

"So Marty." Brian eventually said. "I want you to know that I'm not disappointed that you haven't fallen pregnant, you could never disappoint me baby and if you fall pregnant well that's great, and if you don't, so be it. Marty I'm happy to spend the rest of my life with you, with or without kids."

I smiled and kissed him. That was all I wanted to hear, that he wasn't disappointed. "I love you." I whispered.

"And I love you." He told me, smiling. "So if you fall pregnant good, if you don't, well we can keep trying." And he smirked. "And please don't shut me out again."

"I won't." I promised.

And I wouldn't. I'd almost lost my best friend and I'd almost lost my husband. I'd never do that again.