Remenissions (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 33

Lana's POV

I was shocked. Actually to say I was shocked was an understatement. I was, well I didn't even know what I was.

"What do you mean he's gone?" I whispered to Brian.

"Lana, he's gone." He whispered back. "He can't do this, he can't get married, he's gone to clear his head."

I glanced around quickly at all the people, all the people that had come to see Matt and Courtney get married. Who was going to tell them?

"So he just left?"

"Yeah Lana he did." Brian mumbled.

I was having conflicted feelings. I was happy, ecstatic that the wedding had been called off, but I was upset, hurt, that Matt had left, he left without saying a word to me, not one word.

"Now come with me." Brian said, grabbing my hand. "I'm the ass who has to tell everybody."

I stood with Brian while he made the announcement. I did my best to try and appear calm, but my insides were a turmoil of emotions, I was confused, hurt, happy, shocked and I couldn't speak because I was afraid of what might come out of my mouth.

I stood there and watched everyone leave the church, I didn't really want to go outside, I really didn't want to see Courtney. Yeah I didn't like Courtney but I had to feel for her, this was bad, embarrassing, but I couldn't help but smile to myself because Matt wasn't getting married, after all that pain, he wasn't doing it.

"Hey." A voice said softly and I looked up to see Nick standing there.

Fuck. Nick. In all the lead up to the wedding, caught up in my feelings for Matt, I'd forgotten about Nick. My boyfriend Nick.

"Hey." I said, walking towards him.

"Well what an interesting day." He said smiling.

I nodded. "You have no idea."

"So are we going to the reception?" He asked and I stopped.

I really didn't want to go. I didn't feel like going. I wanted to find Matt, to see him, to talk to him, to ask him why. I just really needed to know why he did this.

"I don't know." I told him. "It just feels kind of weird."

He nodded. "Yeah you're right." He took my hand. "It just seems a waste Lana, you look so beautiful and you should be showing off, it would be a waste for people not to see you."

I smiled. He was so sweet, calling me beautiful, but he wasn't the person I wanted to tell me I was beautiful, the person I wanted had ran away, without saying a word.

"Come on." He said pulling on my hand.. "Everyone's outside anyway."

I followed him out, letting him hold my hand and when we emerged from the church I was shocked by how many people were still around, but I was shocked mainly by Courtney, who was standing there screaming at Marty.

"Oh shit." Nick said, dragging me over towards where Brian was standing.

"What is going on?" I asked Brian as we approached. "Marty." I called to her.

She looked at me, walking towards me and Brian grabbed her, putting his arm around her.

"What was that about babe?" He asked her.

"Well." Marty said smiling. "Courtney isn't very happy."

I nodded, we'd gathered that by her screaming. "Maybe I should go and say something." I mumbled, looking at the ground. It was the polite thing to do, but I really didn't want to.

"Um yeah Lana." Marty said grabbing hold of my hand. "That's probably not a good idea."

"You slut." A voice suddenly screeched and I looked up to find a red faced Courtney marching over to me, wedding dress dragging on the ground.

"What?" Was she talking to me.

"Huh." She screeched. "Did you know?" She said to Nick. "Did you know that your pathetic little girlfriend is in love with my fiancé?"

"Courtney please." I said softly. "Don't do this."

"I'd say your fiancé might feel the same way." Marty said laughing and I wanted to hit the both of them.

I didn't want this and I didn't need this. Yeah so maybe I was in love with Matt but I had Nick to think about. Nick was here with me. Where was Matt? Once again he'd gone, left me and right now I couldn't help but feel hurt. Like Courtney, I was hurt too.

"Come on." I said to Nick, grabbing his hand. "Let's go."

"Wait." Marty cried, running to catch up with us. "Are you coming to the reception?"

"Nah." I said. "I don't think so."

"Oh Lana." She said hugging me. "What a mess."

"Yeah it is a mess." I said hugging her back. "But I'm glad Matt did what was best for him and I'm glad he's taking time to clear his head." I lied, I wasn't, I was hoping that maybe Matt would declare his undying love me, but who was I kidding.

"Come for a drink." Brian said, looking at Nick and I. "Come for at least one."

I sighed, looking at Nick. "You go." I told him. "I kind of have a headache and I just feel blah, but go, have fun."

"Lana." Marty said softly. "Come." And I shook my head, I really did not feel like going. "Well at least let me drop you off home on the way."

And I did. As we pulled up at my place I leant over and kissed Nick quickly, telling him I'd see him later, although at this point I didn't care if I did or not.

As I walked to my door, I heard Marty get out of the car and I turned around to face her as she approached me.

"Oh Lana." She said and that was all it took, I started crying and I was afraid it wouldn't stop. "Lana don't cry."

"He just left, without saying a word."

"I know he did." She murmured. "Please don't go up there and cry all night over Matt Lana. Promise me you won't. He'll be back in a few days and then maybe, maybe he'll tell us what happened."

I nodded wiping my face. I was hoping it was me, I was hoping me is it what happened.

"I'll be okay." I told her and I let myself inside, making my way up to my apartment.

I had a shower and got changed and it seemed a waist, my beautiful hair and makeup, all for nothing.

I grabbed one of my pillows and I went and laid on the couch and once I was there it started. The tears. Maybe it would have been better if he did get married, at least if he did I had convinced myself I could deal with that and I was, I was dealing with it, but now, now he'd just run off and not said anything and right now that hurt worse than him being married, the fact that he never said a word to me, nothing.

I buried my face in my pillow and cried. You'd think I'd be used to it. I'd cried so many tears over Matt, I should be used to it, but I wasn't, he just kept breaking my heart over and over and there had to come a time when I decided enough was enough and now I had Nick in my life maybe enough was enough.

I laid there, thinking, wishing that Matt did stop the wedding because of me, because no matter what had happened, and no matter what ever did happen, Matt would always have my heart. He had all of my heart and he always would.

I must have drifted to sleep because I was woken by my phone. It would be Nick calling probably, wanting me to pick him up.

"Hello." I mumbled, completely unaware of the time and barely awake.

"Lana." Matt said softly. "It's me."