Fractured

Chapter 17

I watched as her eyebrows dipped low in confusion for a moment and it was like she continued to try to process it in her head but it just wasn't working.  "His... odor?" she asked, as if unsure if she heard me right.

This was just great at this point but the key was I couldn't laugh or smile at my immature play.  So I shook my head in disgust at the thought of his smell and showing her just how bad it is.  "Yes! Oh god, it is just so bad. He stinks so bad and usually, I'm upfront but I can't be with him and for some reason that really bothers me," I said, setting her up with an explanation on how his odor problem could go deeper: because it's the first time I was afraid to speak up about it.  See?  I can fool even the most trained people involved in psychology.

"Alright," she said, nodding, and writing something else down on the sheet of paper.  She was just happy we were getting somewhere.  "Now, how does that make you feel?" Veronica asked after she was done and looked back up at me.

Ha!  I was just waiting for that question.  "Well, uncomfortable that I can't speak up about his incredible stink!  I mean, I almost need to plug my nose around him.  When out in public he's fine but not at home.  I don't know what it is but he just stinks up the entire room!  Do you think...."  I pretended to hesitate, as if a little shy to ask my next question.  "Do you think you could maybe talk to him later about it and put it in a way that wont hurt his feelings?" 

"Of course I can talk to him.  I will after this hour is up.  Would that make you feel a little more comfortable around him?" She was more than happy to help.  It made me feel bad that it was just a joke.

I bet Luke wont expect that.  He's just sitting in the waiting room, waiting for me to get done with my hour.  He wont expect that coming and it will be hilarious to see his reaction to what she has to say to him.

I sighed in relief.  "Yes, it would make me feel so much better."

"Good," she smiled and wrote something else down more.  With her eyes distracted, I let myself bit my nearly smiling lips before I brought up another 'problem' of mine I wanted to discuss with her.

"I have another issue like that.  But it's an issue I have with a larger group of people, which you can't actually fix and I need to somehow deal with," I said, looking down at my hands in my lap, ashamed of this problem too.  Finding the 'guts' to speak up what it is a second later, I looked in her eyes and told her, "You see," I sighed, incredibly serious.  "I have this issue with Asians."

I waited for a response and when she nodded for me to go on, I did, happy she was buying all of this.  "I feel so... intimidated by the entire race." I shifted more in my chair, grabbing the side of the chair and pulling the level for the little foot rest to extend from the rest of the chair.  Smiling at how good this chair felt, I knew only to enjoy it but not let it control my words.  No.  Not when I had a good story cooking up for her.   "I mean, every Asian I've met is just so smart," I complained.  "And it really bothers me because it makes me feel dumb.  But it's not like I can just tell a good fraction of the world that they need to dumb it down for me to feel better about myself."

"So you're intimidated by Asians?"  I could just see it in her face, the slight shock there at hearing my issues. Yeah, she never had a patient like me before. 

"Yes, very much so."

***

I went on about Asians for a while. Then the subject moved to something more serious: my terrible problem I have with hearing the word 'cock' - that it's just such a violent sounding word.  Not to mention my issue with other people's shoes, the fear of my own hands strangling me, and I even told her a story from my past, about how I asked to see a man's balls when my mother never gave me the talk.  If only that one wasn't true like the rest....