Differences

part twenty-three - stress

If you love someone once, you'll always love them. 

Especially if that love never dies. 

Every day, every night. Tessa was either a emotional mess or an angry ball of fire.

She delved in taking her anger out on anyone around her or whoever was convenient. Having said before that she could always talk to him about anything, she turned to Max, even when he wasn't there to sooth storm that clouded her thoughts.

This was ultimately frustrating, Tessa was new to a long-distance relationship. It was easy enough to keep her sexual frustrations under wraps with the anticipation that she'll see Max again. But her emotional turmoil flared up once in a while and she'd end up missing him to the point that she either ended up extremely sad or extremely angry. Although, most of the time, she tried to remain calm with the knowledge that she would see him sometime soon. 

He was her boyfriend, her other half, so of course she'd see him again. The fact that she worried sometimes was out of her control, she just had a habit of missing him all the time. With the stress of school, college, money, work, and family, she felt like everything in her grasps was out of her control and at times, she would break down.  

Never hoping to end her life, but rather wishing it would get better one day. Tessa was a dreamer, she dreamed that Max would be able to save her from this mess and help her out. To encourage her that life was worth all of the bad and good, but he was busy. He had important things happening where he was at and she finally came to terms with the fact that she couldn't have all of his attention at the times she was use to.

She already knew that everything was going to be hard for them in their relationship, especially with how far away they were and with what kind of people they were. But everyone had difficulties, if a relationship was perfect, than it wasn't worth it in her opinion. 

The fight to stay together, the struggle to get through, everything that is usually done with another person. She thrilled in the opportunities to be able to get through just about any situation with Max, it was a chance for them grow together with every problem faced. 

Yes, she did regret every action she had done to hurt him. Or the pointless fights she started over her own jealousy, but every fight that they survived was a lesson for their relationship as a whole. It strengthened the bonds that mad both Max and Tessa a couple.

When he wasn't there to soothe her, she busied herself. She slept, went to school, worked double shifts, and even cleaned. 

The fact that she felt hatred towards a lot of the people she went to school with, kept her from making friends. She rather be alone, with a select few that she could relate to. 

She remembers the questions about whether Max and her were engaged or what kind of ring she wore on her finger. 

The gears in her brain would begin to wonder what she would say, but then one day she stopped, smiled at the girl who had asked her if she was engaged and answered with a shrug, "If it's an engagement ring, you'll find out. But for now, just think what you want." 

She even allowed a teacher to assume that she was engaged, it took all her might to not correct the educator and instead she did what she had said.

She allowed people to think what they wanted. But she knew, that if it was an engagement Max wanted, he would ask in person if he could. 

Although, it was no secret that she wanted him enough to spend her life with him. They're relationship probably wasn't prepared for an engagement at that moment, but in the future. 

She could only continue to hope & dream.