Differences

part ten - the sun and the moon

Time flew past for the duration of the time that Max and Tessa were apart. It was a confusing time for her, but she managed. She grew up a little and her mind set towards other people changed drastically. The only person she'd ever make time for was Max.

She loved her family. But lately. They've been difficult to get along with, hazardous to her mental health. They confused her, angered her, and drove her to the point of wanting nothing more but to leave. She was always sad, all the time, she put up a front at school and kept her personal life out of her school life. Otherwise she would be unfocused and checked out of her senior year, at times she wanted to give up. But she was so close to finishing, what was the point of doing that?

Plus. She had goals. Dreams. And it wasn't in her nature to give up.

She spoke to Max here and there, enjoying the fact that she was able to talk to him. She knew he didn't approve of her dating Justin, but she was already double guessing her choice when she started dating the guy. He was never someone she could love like she did Max, he was just another friend. Now, he was nothing to her. Just an old person who held a small part in her past. Max was the one with a much larger chapter, with a distinct place in her heart that no one else would ever have.

When she learned a month and half before he would come back. She was overjoyed. And she waited, texted him constantly. And kept silently, not wanting to ruin his surprise return. It was hard, she wanted to talk about it to everyone and anyone who would listen. Max was coming back and she'd be able to see him again.

Everyday she texted him, and he texted back when he could. The summer incident forgiven, they were both in the wrong. They both had made a mistake. Tessa was no longer playing on her forums, she had stopped the moment she found out that it came between her and Max. She loved writing, but she loved Max more. She still wrote, but not in her silly forums or to other people. She wrote for herself, small stories, her thoughts, people that impacted her largely. It kept her sane. Through the bad, all of it. It was what Max usually did, but he wasn't there during that time. So she relied on writing to do it in his place.

The day he came back, was the same day she got her nerve block injections in her neck and head. The only reason she had gotten them was because of a harsh car crash that deemed her vehicle undriveable. Resulting in damaged nerves, a concussion, and no car. It was a depressing time. But the injections helped get rid of all of her pain. Almost.

When she saw Max in the following few days after his return. She was ecstatic. He was back, he was real. And he was with her. Not in the way she wanted, but close enough to the point that she would try not to complain.

But after that lazy day of watching Netflix and napping in her bed, she periodically was nerved by the fact that she couldn't see him. Couldn't hug him. During that week of Christmas, he was busy with Family, so she didn't have much time with him.

But the week after. He was hers. For three days and two nights, she was glued to his side. Literally. As they slept, she'd wake up and move closer to him, rub his back, just savour their time together and soak up the feelings she had for him.

The first day, they all came back in a rush, her feelings for him magnified quite a bit. She wanted him in more ways than one. And she got him. They didn't need labels to describe who they were together, but when they had gone to dinner with his father's side of the family. Her eyes lit up whenever he reintroduce her as his girlfriend like he had before when she met them. She loved sitting next to him during the dinner, engaging in conversation and being able to laugh with his family. At first she was nervous, on edge, afraid of not being good enough. But soon she unraveled and was herself. It was Max that calmed her down, his presence alone, the moments where he squeezed her knee or held her hand. The small things helped her to open up and talk.

That night, she slept next to him comfortably. She admits that she didn't get enough sleep, but she didn't really care. Tessa woke up continuously because her mind was working on overtime, making sure he was there and still with her and that she was really seeing him.

On the second day, she watched movies with him during part of the morning. She drank coffee for the first time in a while and went out with him so he could get his haircut before he left. Tessa was sad that his vacation was ending, but she pushed away that sadness and welcomed the fact that she was able to spend New Year's Eve with him. They had lunch with his mother, her boyfriend, and his sister. Not to mention his adorable niece. She enjoyed that lunch as well, being able to talk and connect with them. The food that she had eaten so far was the best she had all break honestly, and she was thankful. Very thankful.

That night he got his tattoo as well, and she sat with him through it. Glancing and at him at times and just staring, sometimes making faces and giving small half smiles. Other times, she'd watch the tattoo artist, interested in the new addition to what would be Max's sleeve. It was beautiful, the tattoo he got. She loved his new ink. But before that, when they waited for the Artist. They spoke about things. About him going back, about some of his friends.

Even about the tattoo pictures in the book that they kept out for people waiting.

When he spoke about going back, she yearned to go back with him. To just be with him so she didn't have to be away from him anymore. She didn't know if she could admit out loud, but sometimes, Tessa felt as if she couldn't be without him. That he was indeed her future.

He was the sun to her moon, the light that kept her at bay.

When he expressed an interest of her maybe going with him, not now, but in the future. She jumped at it. At first, she thought it was a joke. But when asked about it again, he said he was 100% serious. And soon she was rethinking her own plans, she'd do anything just to be able to be with Max. Without him, she found herself to be depressed and sinking in a deep hole that she felt that she might never emerge out of.

Her determination grew, she wanted a life with Max. A future with him. She got a glimpse on what kind of life she could have with him and she wanted it.

What would be so bad about going with Max? Being with him? She could still go to college online, could still be with him and accomplish her personal goals. So why not be with the man she actually loves? It's what she wanted all along. He made her feel things that no one else had.

That final night was one she couldn't forget, she woke up three times. Two of those times she cried, her time with Max was coming to a close. For the next few months she'd await for his next return and hope he would come back. Even if it isn't for her. She wanted him to come back to his home. 

She cried because she was afraid of something happening to them. She wanted to be sure that she had a secure position in his life. That she wasn't just an occasional person, but someone permanent. Tessa wanted to be more to Max. And she knew deep down that she did have a place. But she still cried for the fact that she wouldn't see him or touch him for quite a while. She knew it wasn't possible for him to be there when she graduated. But she could always wish. Always wish that he'd be back at some point. 

She hoped he knew just how much he meant to her, just how much she would do just for him.  ecause unlike anyone else, she loved him. For all of his flaws, for all of his quirks, and for the fact that he had the morals and characteristics like no other guy she's ever seen. Any mistake he would make, she'd still love him. Max was a man who was true to his word. And some could even say that he was her world.