Differences

part eleven - again

She was there when he left.

When he walked through the airport terminal and when he boarded the plane.

She almost cried, she wanted to allow herself to cry in front of him. But she couldn't, but on the way back. As she spoke back and forth with his parents and their significant others, she stared apstraight ahead and allowed silent tears to slip out.

When she got home after the second night with him, she slept for a few hours, and stayed awake for the rest. She couldn't sleep, she just kept thinking about Max leaving. Returning to his new home in Arizona and leaving his old home behind.

Would he miss them? Of course he would.

Hours passed and she spent that time writing and watching tv. Her eyes would wander towards her phone to check the time. Time passed slowly at first, but then it went fast. And before she knew it, it was four am and time to go meet up with him and his family at the airport.

Tessa drove there, staying away from the country music because she didn't want to cry. But of course, the first song that plays is a Maroon 5 song called 'Love Somebody'. She knew every word and sang it on the way, humming it long after the song ended. She almost cried before getting there, but held it in on instinct. She always did, she never enjoyed crying in front of people. She was always told that it was a sign of weakness to let others see you cry. It's why she did it at night, when no one else would see, or alone... when no one else was there.

When she arrived at the Airport she waited, she had gotten there first and looked around. Continuously looking towards the doors to see them come in.

She also glanced at her phone waiting for him to say he was here, it was only minutes later that he said he was in Security. Tessa got up, gathering her purse and jacket, and she walked over. She stood next to him and stayed there, quiet for a bit.

She was actually quiet the whole time as he spoke to his mom or dad, and all Tessa did was laugh on occasion or glance at Max. In just thirty or forty minutes, and he'd be gone. She wouldn't be able to see him for a long time.

While in line, he pulled out a set of tags from his CAP days and gave them to her. Tessa was in disbelief, "Are you sure?" But as she said this,Moshe reached out and took them. Glad to have something of his to hang around her neck proudly. She kept it in her hands at first, holding it tight in her left fist and playing with the long chain part unconsciously. Her eyes wandered a bit as they walked, she tried staying as close to Max as she could.

But her mind was blank and she found herself slowing down at some points, for once she wasn't thinking too hard or too much. She was just walking around in disbelief. Soon he'd be gone.

She wanted to take pictures with him, but didn't know if it'd be allowed with him in uniform. So she kept her phone hidden away and just enjoyed the time she had left with him.

The only emotions running through her were strong and unwilling to leave her. She almost cried a few times. But managed to stop it before it began. She didn't want his last image of her to be Tessa crying.

When they called for passengers to board, she stood up slowly. Telling herself this was it. She was surely going to cry soon.

With the coffee he bought her in one hand along with his old tags around her neck now, she hugged him as tightly as she could. And as long as she could.

When he said I love you for the first time in two weeks, she almost broke down. Almost burst into tears, but instead, she buried her head deeper into his right shoulder and said I love you back. He said she was going to cry, Tessa said she wasn't. He said it was okay.mshe just jumbled incoherently into his shoulder and then let go, staring at him as he bottom lip trembled a little bit and her eyes burned with unshod tears. If anyone should see her vulnerable side, it should be him. But not in front of an audience like that, she wasn't use to so many people around her when she cried.

When he comes back. That's when she'll cry. But it won't be be because she's sad, it'll be because she's happy. She wanted him to see her happy, not sad.

Turning around as hard, she couldn't completely dace forward as she kept glancing back at Max. He was still there, he was still whole and well as he stood in the line to board. Reluctantly. She had to look forward in order to walk with out stumbling.

And that's where we come back to the beginning. Walking past TSA again, they all stopped, and Max's mom and her asked one of the TSA lady's behind a desk if there was any possibility of getting the bullet she'll back that they took off Max's tags that he gave her. But the woman said she couldn't get it back once they took it. She even sounded a bit bewildered that they would take it in the first place. But either way... They didn't get it back. And that's what started the silent tears.

Then once alone and after saying her good byes to everyone else, she sobbed as she made her way to her car. Amidst her sadness, she forgot where she parked. Thankfully, Max's father and his fathers girlfriend helped her look for it and even followed her out of the parking lot to make sure she got out alright.

But as she drove home and hit the highway, she was sobbing and crying. It wasn't pretty, she was loud. And she turned the radio up to drown out her own noise, but Dan + Shay's popular song 'Nothin Like You' didn't calm her tears. They made them worse as she even began to sing along to the music.
Her eyes continued to burn from crying and her tears fell even more frequently.

Tessa's thoughts were on Max and only Max. She wished she talked more and wished she hadn't kept it in. He deserved to see how she felt about him and him leaving, about how this all made her feel.

And as she drove, she texted Max a bit. Talking to him before she didn't have a chance to anymore. And she told him what she wanted to say, thatshe wanted to be with him always. To be by his side. She'd love nothing more than to be with him the way she wanted to be. It was asking a lot, but through the crying and the way she felt. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't be without him.

She'd see Max again.