The Way We Live *Cimorelli Story*

Left Outcast

I haven't talked in a week or so. I feel like the whole world stabbed a wound in my chest. It's not healthy for me not to by hyper. The same way it's not healthy for Katherine to be sleeping so long.

I think my family are starting to get worried about me I mean I haven't showed an sign of communication. Ever since the last week when I tried to cheer them up, but I tried.

They said that Katherine will wake up soon, but when's that? Is it when she won't wake up anymore. I have this feeling we're in danger. By 'we're' I mean us six girls.

We're getting famous. Every celebrity has a crazy fan that might do something scary. This is beyond scary. It's frightening, threatening, dangerous.

I've tried telling myself that everything's going to be OK. Christina hasn't talked to us a lot. All she talks to is Mom and Dad. Not even, but I figured its about Nick.

Lisa's starting to worry about me. She sees that I'm quieter. Amy started seei Lauren's every more like that's needed.

Since its summer we don't have school to worry abut, but we have Katherine.

I'm just laying in my bed. Lisa walked in. "Hey, baby girl" she sat on the floor next to my bed. I just cracked a closed smile. "Can you talk to me? With your mouth?" My voice came out a little rasped than I thought. "Sorry." I guess not talking a lot automatically looses your voice.

We haven't post a cover which is obvious. One our members aren't here!

"Dani girl a you OK?"  

"Not really" 

"Can you tell me why?" 

"I can't tell what's not made."  

"What?" She didn't understand. I didn't understand myself.  

"I can't tell you what's not true" 

"We'll it's call a prediction. A false truth" Lisa wanted answers. I only have answers of no hope. 

"Remember the doctor said last week Katherine will wake up soon and she's not in a coma?" 

She just nodded. 

"I'm starting to think he's lying to us" Lisa looked down and sigh.  

"Me too" she sat next to me and hugged me.  

"It might not be Ok now, but it will be." 

"I hope"

Lisa went downstairs to help mom with dinner. I went to the bathroom. I ve heard the soft blade on your skin helps.

I sliced myself in my finger, I could pass it off as an paper cut. It kinda hurt, but then pleasure came as my blood rushed out. I put the blade back no matter how much I wanted it more, I cleaned up the blood that came out of me. I now know why Demi Lovato did it, but that made me realize I need to stop.

I out a band aid on my cut. OK, I'll try to stop. I went down to breakfast to see Lauren was nowhere to be found.

What the heck?

"Mom?"

"Oh! Dani you talked!"

"Yes, now have you seen Lauren?"

"Yeah she's with Mike at Katherine's hospital. She wanted to go since she was sick yesterday."

"Ok"

It was more than that. Something's going on. I just need to find out what. I massaged my back. Why does it hurt so back?!

Heck.

We all sat and Joey prayed. I didn't really payed attention because I was looking at the plate I front of me. Pizza. Of course Lisa ate it in 2 bites, but me. I wanted to do that too, but hesitation is the word that stop me from it.

I took a huge bite though. Over all the dinner I only ate 2 pizzas. I would've ate 4 on a normal basis, but something,

Something

In my

Mind

Told me,

Dani Nicole Cimorelli

Not too.

I somehow

Didn't overthrow

The power of

The pressure,

The thought,

My weight.

I walked back to my room looking in the mirror. I guess I'm not that fat, but with that Nutella.

I just miss my normal life, I decided it write in that journal Katherine gave me a year ago where everything was happy.

Dear Journal,  

          I figured life has its disabilities. Mine is not able to get that thought out of my head that I'm fat. Maybe I should be out of the band. It's said. I just wish everything will be back to normal. 

Here is a poem of how I feel right now.

I hear the wind whisper my name 

Forbidding me eating the candy cane. 

I feel the sand brushing me feet 

Let happy comeback to me. 

I beg, I plead. I say the word please. 

It's seems to just give up on hope. 

I'm cold. One without a coat.  

On the deep blue sea. Alone.  

Just finding my way to home. 

Where I belong. Where its free 

Be as happy as can be.  

Where I'm accepted. 

Where nothing's wrong. 

Where I could scream or sing a song. 

'Whether life's disabilities. 

Left outcast, bullied, or teased'

It felt so good to do that. I feel half of the weight released, but not all.

A/N whatcha think? Remember to  

VOTE! 

COMMENT! 

FOLLOW! 

AND BE AWESOME!