Situations (A Dahvie Vanity FanFiction) [Book 1]

Chicken? CHICKEN?!

3 Months Later 

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"NO!! I don't want the damn chicken!" I yelled into the phone.

"But... It's KFC." Jason said back. I thought for a second.

"True. Get me my own bucket. You know I don't like to share." I said waddling into the kitchen.

"Of course. I'll be home soon. Bye bye." He said hanging up. I sighed and crawled out of bed. I waddled out of the door and to the kitchen. I grabbed a jar of peanut butter and waddled back to my room. Just as I got there, Jason and Jayy walked through the door. I sighed and waddled back downstairs.

If you're wondering why I'm saying 'waddled' instead of 'walked' it's because I have some how gotten myself pregnant again. But this time, you'll never guess who the father is.

David Jesus Torres. AKA: Dahvie Vanity. And I had broken up with Fronzilla the day after tour when I found out he had been cheating. Why do myrelationships always end that way? Anywhale, me and Dahvie had started to date and I had fallen for him all over again.

Anyways I went to the living room and sat down. A bucket of chicken was placed in my lap. I looked up and Jason smiled and sat next to me. I smiled back and ate a piece of chicken. I looked at the bucket and put it on the table. I spit the chicken out in a napkin and layed back.

"No more chicken." I said eating some peanut butter. Dan came in and sat on the other side of me.

"My fucking god A.J. I don't know how, but you got huge in 3 months off of peanut butter." She said laughing. I glared at her and stuffed a giant spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth. She laughed and ate a piece of chicken from my bucket. I looked at her and grabbed it out of her hand.

"My chicken." I said eating it with peanut butter. I smiled and ate it more with the peanut butter. I ate the whole jar and all of the chicken. I got up and waddled to the kitchen. I threw away the bucket and the jar. Niall came in and eyed the chicken, then Jason handed him another bucket for himself.

"I'm guessing we spent about a trillion dollars on chicken for this whole fucking house." I said lowering myself onto the couch. Jason looked up at me.

"Well duh! They sell one bucket of chicken for like twenty dollars. And we got four fucking buckets." Jason said eating his chicken.

"YOU SPENT EIGHTY FUCKING DOLLARS ON CHICKEN?!" I yelled. He nodded.

"We have thirteen people here A.J. And two of them wanted their own buckets. We barely have enough right now." He said still eating his chicken.

"Oh, of course. Now Niall, help me up. I need peanut butter." I said and he looked up.

"But.... I'm eating." He said and I glared.

"Niall James Horan, if you don't help me the fuck up right now, I will fucking murder you in your sleep." I said about to get up. His eyes widened and he quickly helped me up.

"Thank you!" I said cheerily. I went to the kitchen and Dahvie was there eating MY FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER. I walked over to him and snatched it out of his hands.

"You fucking ass. It's half gone." I said eating the rest.

"So very sorry. I got hungry my love." He said bowing. I smiled.

"There's chicken in the living room, go get some." I said pointing with my spoon.

"Yes m'lady." He said about to leave but I stopped him.

"But first! You must get me a new jar of peanut butter because I am too short." I said pointing towards the cabinet. He got the peanut butter and handed it to me.