Stuck in the hatezone (Larry Stylinson)

Things I can't

A/N: Hey guys I'm home again so this is my chapter again:) xx Paula

Harry's POV

I woke up on Louis chest, his lips grinning down at me. I felt a bit dizzy an slowly got up as my eyes wandered to the clock on the wall. I drifted off in a light sleep for about ten minutes. I still felt the wetness on my cheeks and wondered why. Then it all hit me again. The call, Louis dad saying I should get in the car, me texting Louis, filled with panic. My mum. I felt tears stinging in my eyes again and Louis saw it and he bent down to me and whispered soothing words into my ear.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay I promise. It's all good shh.."

I calmed down and finally got up from the couch. I don't know why Louis suddenly was all nice and sweet after all the yelling an trouble. And there was something else, a feeling deep inside I couldn't really explain. Maybe I just didn't want to.

"I..." I cleared my throat after the first words wouldn't come out clearly, "I'll just go to bed okay?"

It got pretty late after we came home and I also was tired from waiting, worrying and crying.

Louis' dad got his head up from his knees, his eyes also red and said "sure Harry. Try to get some rest."

I kinda smiled at them and walked up the stairs, feeling Louis eyes following me.

Up in my room I broke down again. I was so worried. It all came to my thoughts. They didn't know if she would ever wake up again. I... I just had her left. My dad isn't around most of the time and if she dies, Louis dad will leave me and Louis too. And that was another point. Louis. He was all so caring and understanding. I really didn't get it cause only yesterday he stormed out of the house, angry, yelling, arguing with his dad. And now this. I curled up to a ball in my bed and closed my eyes. It was weird in this situation but I really was so tired. I heard some voices from downstairs and I could hear Louis say "I just don't want him to be alone right now. Sorry."

"Sure Louis, go. I love you."

It was silence after that an I thought Louis just would've been gone. But then I heard him quietly say: "I love you too, dad."

I smiled to myself and was asleep before Louis even reached our room.

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At the next day the breakfast was really really awkward. I mean, we were all tired and shocked and sad. Also Louis was all silenced. No arguing, no yelling, no texting. Nothing. But I didn't even care. I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to be left alone. After a while Steve cleared his throat: "so boys I'll go to the hospital after breakfast. Do you wanna come?" Of corse I was the first one to nod and as my eyes wandered to Louis I also saw him nodding, which surprised me. His dad looked at him with a serious look.

"You sure you wanna do this Lou?"

Louis hesitated but nodded.

"Yeah totally."

Of corse. I totally forgot. Louis' mum. They brought her to the hospital after the fire. She died in there and it all had to remind Louis. I felt bad that I forgot it. I looked over to Louis and he slowly smiled at me. It was still kind weird for us to act normal with each other, especially since he comforted me yesterday.

After cleaning up the kitchen we all got in Steve's car and drove to the hospital. I was shaking cause I was so nervous. Of course I knew nothing had happened, they would've called us. But that stupid little part of me was still hoping.

"Good morning, I'm Steve Tomlinson, we're here to visit Anne Styles."

"Are you related?" The women at the reception asked us "I'm sorry but mrs Styles is in a serious state right now. Only relatives are allowed."

Louis' dad rested his hand on my shoulder.

"This is Harry Styles, he's her son. I'm her.. Boyfriend.. And this is my son, Louis."

The lady hesitated but then reached me a paper.

"Well mr Styles then I need you to sign this."

I filled out the paper and she leaded us to her room.

"Only one person please" and with that she left us.

Steve looked at me but I gave him a sign with my hand that he could go first. He thankfully smiled at me and went in that room. I sank back in a chair, Louis next to me. I rested my head in my hands and Louis didn't seem to be quite sure if he should touch me or not. Awkward. Luckily, his dad came out again and nodded in my direction. I slowly got up and went into the room. As I saw her, laying on the bed, being all pale, unable to move, speak or even breathe on her own. The doctors always tell you that the coma patients hear what you say to them, that you are supposed to talk, but I just couldn't. I really wanted to but I couldn't. I just took her hand and kissed it. But then one thing came into my mind that I thought she'd love to know.

"Louis and I get along better now"

I told her. I squeezed her hand one last time cause I felt the tears in my eyes again. I kissed her on the cheek and left the room, wiping away my tears hoping nobody would see them.
We turned to the door but Louis suddenly said: "wait, I wanna go to her too."

Surprised we watched Louis walking in that room. We sat back down again. I watched Louis and I saw him taking her hand and saying something. I couldn't hear it, obviously, but telling by his lips it was

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"

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The third day began just like the other, silenced. I barely ate cause I still couldn't. I spent another night crying.
After breakfast I walked in our room and sat on the bed and started crying again. Louis followed me but instead of comforting me again he started to react angry.

"Put yourself together, Styles. There's nothing you can do about it. The doctors are trying everything they can!'

I was slightly shocked by his reaction but I got angry too.

"Well I'm sorry for having feelings. I CAN'T CONTROL IT!"

It started again but I didn't care.

"WE ALL ARE SHOCKED, LOOK AT MY DAD BUT WERE TRYING TO GET ALONG WITH IT! SUCK IT UP HAROLD I'M SICK OF IT!"

he yelled at me.

"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME DO YOU? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL! IT'S NOT YOUR MUM DYING THERE!"

Louis faced was filled with pain.

"YES BECAUSE SHE ALREADY IS DEAD. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE SAME. I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS. BUT I KNEW I HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER! FOREVER! AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE THE HOPE!"

I saw the tears running down his cheeks and a wave of regret hit me. I forgot. I totally forgot. The picture of Louis crying in his bed popped up in my head again.

"Louis I... I'm so sorry I just.."

But Louis just stormed out of the room, cracking the door.