Stuck in the hatezone (Larry Stylinson)

Things I can

Louis' POV

I received a few calls from Harry and I didn't even care. It stopped and then I got messages. A lot. Maybe something was wrong? I decided to read them. 'You have to come to the hospital, quickly' or 'it's very important' and things like that in like 50 messages. Apparently something had happened so I stepped into my car and drove to the hospital. What could've happened? There was nothing with my dad since the messages came from his phone. Nothing with Harry because the messages were written by him. So who should've lie in there? My mum was already dead so.

I made my way to the hospital in the car listening to the radio. Goodbye my lover by James Blunt was on which made me tear up a bit because it was mums favourite song. She always listened to it when she was sad and it kind of was my favourite song too since my mum passed away. I tried to calm myself down so I wouldn't come to the hospital already crying.

When I reached it I got out of the car and went in. I walked to the reception and asked for Harry and my dad. They told me to go two storeys up and look at the corridor for them. So I went upstairs and searched and searched and finally found some familiar looking faces. Dad sat on a chair with his face covered with his hands. Harry was walking around with tears in his eyes.

"What's wrong here?" I asked confused.

"Anne had a car crash and she's in coma."

"Erm, ok." I didn't really know what to say.

"The doctor said that they don't know any details like how long she will be in coma and... stuff."

I still didn't know what to say so I just sat down and waited and I didn't even know what for. And we waited and we waited and nobody said something. It was all quiet. Harry sometimes started to get tears in his eyes. Apparently he thought about what could've happened or something. I got really bored but probably the worst thing I could've done in this moment was putting my phone out so I just closed my eyes for a while and fucking waited. Finally a doctor came.

"So we have results. Unfortunately no detailed results and not very good. We don't know when she'll wake up or if she'll wake up. It could take days, it could take weeks,it...."

"What?" Harry whined with the first tears escaping his eyes. "She could... she... she could die?" Harry asked again with hope in his eyes that he might have misunderstood the doctor or that the doctor told him wrong.

"Yes. I'm very sorry."

After this sentence Harry started crying. He fell to his knees and nearly screamed. My dad started to let the tears come out as well.

"How big are the chances that... bad things will happen?" he asked.

"Like... 50/50."

"Wow, that's much." My dad tried to say but it didn't really came out of his mouth. He was crying, too. I think the doctor said that we could go now and that they would inform us if there's something new but I couldn't pay attention. All I did was looking at Harry. And all I thought was how bad he must've felt. And it reminded me of myself when I was told that my mum was dead. I was also screaming from the top of my lungs what didn't work because I was too busy with crying. I felt like I had to comfort him. Like I had the responsibility to be what I was missing so bad in that days. He still kneeled on the floor and had his head in his hands. I went towards him and sat down on the floor as well. My right hand first moved onto his shoulder, then I moved closer and wanted to pull him closer. He suddenly started to cuddle himself up to my body as if he wanted me to protect him. He wanted me to hold him and wrap my arms around him and just be there, Even after everything I did to him and his mum. I was never nice to him and neither to his mum. But he just let me comfort him. I was wondering about that but then I thought back to the time when I was in his situation and all of the sudden it wasn't very strange at all. Back then I just wanted someone who hugs me tight and dries my tears with his shirt because I was so close to this person that nothing could've happened to me. And it didn't matter who it was. Essential anyone. I guessed that was how Harry felt. And for the first time I felt close to Harry. At this time somehow and even if not that much he was like a brother to me. Well, at least I thought so.

My dad tried to recover himself. He wiped his tears away, held his head up and managed to speak.

"C'mon boys. Let's go home." he said and looked at us. Harry was still crying in my arms while I turned my head up to face dad. I think it was the first time dad apperceived that I was holding Harry in my arms. He looked at me with a little grin in his face. And though he just received the message that his love could pass away he seemed so happy for the first time since we moved. It made me smile and blush a little. It felt good to see my dad smiling at me again. He looked proud for once. And this just because I held Harry in my arms to comfort him. Harry started to move as well. He wiped the tears off and turned his head up. I let go of him slowly and helped him to stand up. Dad leaded us out of the hospital and me and Harry just followed him. I couldn't help but always look at Harry checking if he's ok. Well, "ok". When we reached dads car he grabbed his keys but his hands were still shaking like mad.

"Let me drive." I offered.

"You have your own car here, don't you?" my dad asked.

"Yes but I can get it some other time. I don't think you can drive now."

"Thank you, Louis." Dad said and and handed me the key. Harry sat down on the backseat and dad on the passenger seat.

Harry was still crying in the back and I couldn't do anything. I tried to drive as fast as possible so we'd be home as early as possible so I could do something.

When we came home we all walked in and sat down on the couch. Harry crawled himself up. He put his legs onto the couch put his head in his knees and cried into his legs. Dad just put his head in his hands. I went to the kitchen and made tea for us.

"Thanks." dad sad after I handed him a cup of tea. Then I sat down next to Harry, put my tea on the table, wrapped one arm around Harry and held him his tea. His head turned to face me and smiled at him. He tried to smile back and grabbed his cup of tea. After taking a bit he placed the cup on the table again and continued crying. But this time he didn't try to hide his head behind his legs as if he waited for me hold him again. And that's what I did. I moved a little closer and Harry started to lean his head on my shoulder. He turned sideways and I put his legs over mine so it wouldn't be uncomfortable for him. It's strange how I suddenly cared so much. I didn't even know why. Something was different. All of the sudden.

He just lay there on my shoulder and chest crying. I started stroking his little curls and in this moment he burried his head in between my neck and my shoulder. I felt his face on my neck. The way he shaked. The way his lips trempeld when he breathed in. And suddely he put his arm around me. We were now completely curled up in a little ball. Harry was so soft and comfortable. I felt so well and secure. I didn'd even remember when I felt so secure the last time. Probably with my mum. I was paralysed in this moment because it felt so good. It felt so right. The fact that I used to hate Harry was faded. It was away. I didn't think about anything because I just wanted to feel this moment.

But my thoughts got interrupted by something. At first I didn't know why but then I looked down at Harry. It was all quiet. He stopped crying and had his head moved out of my neck again. He now just lay on my chest and wait. He looked all concentrated. What did he do? I looked up and then down again to Harry. He looked straight one way and didn't move. Concentration but tiredness filled his eyes. I just kept looking at him. Did he listen to my heartbeat? Did he really listen to my heartbeat? I heard that it appears calming for babys and little children but Harry was none of it. Obviously. But the fact that he listened to it anyways made me smile.

We sat there like this for a while and I wanted to grab my tea when I noticed that Harry fell asleep. He fell asleep in my arms while listening to my heartbeat. And it all sounded cheesy and somehow not the way I was. But that's how it was in this moment. And maybe, only maybe, this wasn't who I was but who I wanted to be.