Toilet

Thank you for reading my story.  I hope you enjoy this story and can have a good laugh.  :)

Picture of Tim on the right :)

AMBER'S POV

It started in a convenient store.  Standing behind an Asian guy with oddly pointy ears, he strained to have me get in front of him.  He was obviously in front of me and I didn’t want to cut in line or make him feel rushed.

“No, that’s ok.  You were first,” I said.

He blushed and tried to hide what he was buying.  Curiously, I peered over his shoulder like a creeper.  I burst out laughing because of what he was attempting to conceal.  The guy was purchasing a box of magnum condoms.

The guy seemed even more humiliated.  A few more people got in line behind me and onlookers were scouting the source of my amusement.  The lady behind the register chuckled too.  The woman was wider than she was tall.  She had a malignant melanoma and it looked like you could play whack-a-mole on her face.  Her name tag reads Claire.  Today was not this guy’s lucky day.

“Hello.  Did you find everything that you were looking for today?” Claire asked.

The Asian guy just nodded like a bobble head.

“Do you have a shopping rewards card with us?” Claire asked.

“No,” he rasped.  He looked like he wanted to disappear into thin air.

“Would you like to sign up for one today? It’s totally free and it would only take a few minutes,” Claire said informatively.

“Um-, no thanks.  Look, I’m kinda in a hurry,” he whispered.  By now, there were five people behind me, but no one was in a hurry.  Everyone appeared to find this amusing.

Claire rang up his precious box of magnum condoms.  He paid with supernatural speed and fled the store.  Laughter thundered from everyone in the line.  I felt guilty for laughing, but I just couldn’t help myself.

As Claire rang up my items, I looked down at the counter and realized that the guy had left his wallet.  It didn’t even register in my mind, I didn’t even think, I just ran out of the store.

Claire yelled, “Hey, aren’t you gonna pay for this?”

“I’ll be right back!!!” I hollered back.

I spotted the Asian on the other side of the parking lot.  I am not an athlete by any standards.  I hate running with a passion, but I found myself sprinting to a stranger.

“Hey! Hey! Hey guy!” I yelled.  He looked up at me and I could see a faint blush creep into his cheeks.  I’m not obese, but I didn’t think I was that easy to miss.  Whatever he saw obviously frightened him because he was running away from me.

“Hey! Stop! Please stop running!” I yelled.  I felt like my lungs were on fire.  My calves were starting to feel like steel.  I would love to say I was becoming drenched from the rain, but it was a perfect magazine cover beautiful sunny day.  The perspiration was streaming off my face and I was blowing it off like an elephant.

“Please stop! I have your wallet!”

He kept running.  Was he deaf? If I kept up this pace, I would have a heat stroke or something.  I pushed myself a little harder.

“STOP! I HAVE YOUR WALLET!” I screamed.  I was so out of breath, it just got out as an audible whisper.

We were already out of the parking lot and far down the street.  He twisted his head to find out how close I was.  I’m sure what he saw didn’t make him think of bay watch or anything but the look on his face was pure horror.  Jesus.  Did he think I was going to steal his soul?