You Made Me Fall, But That's Okay

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Sleepy Time

Ryan sighed, twirling a strand of my blond hair around his finger. ‘I still think this is all my fault.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Just shut up, Ryan.’

‘It is, though. Think about it. If you hadn’t have ever met me, none of this would’ve ever happened. Imagine your life without me … You wouldn’t ever have to worry … you wouldn’t ever be hurt … Sinead would still have Travis … you’d probably be dating Daniel … you wouldn’t have this freak hunting you down … you wouldn’t be wanted by the gang … you’d be a normal teen–’

He only stopped because I slammed my hand on his mouth. My whole arm ached like hell, but I tried to ignore the pain for that moment. ‘Ryan! Do you actually want to break up with me, or something? Otherwise, I’d shut up if I were you.’

Ryan pursed his lips. ‘I’m just saying … You don’t regret anything, do you?’

‘Of course not. I don’t regret anything at all, and I probably won’t ever regret anything to do with you. I’ve already told you before – this is all happening for a reason. Can we please stop talking about this? We sound too cheesy.’

He kissed my forehead gently. ‘I love you so much.’

‘Again, I’ve already told you before – I love you much, much, much more than you’ll ever love me.’ I told him, grinning.

‘Prove it, then,’ he challenged, narrowing his eyes.

I raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you serious? In the hospital?’

‘- exactly, Sinead. That’s just what I was thinking. I know it’d really be great, and once you get to know them, you’ll adore them. I just don’t know if she’d be too happy about it, though. I mean, there’s only so much she can take all at once. After this thing about your father, well, I don’t know how she’d react if I told her about – Oh look, she’s awake,’ said my mam, pushing the door open and walking in with a cup of coffee in her hands.

‘What are yous talking about?’ I asked Sinead, who seemed quite alarmed to see that I might have been listening.

‘Eh … nothing. Nothing at all,’ said my mam, taking a seat beside my bed. She was crap at lying, even worse than me. When she saw my dubious expression, she bit her lip hesitantly. ‘Listen, Laura, right now isn’t the time to talk about it. You’ve got enough on your plate already. I promise, we’ll talk about it later … When we’re all ready to talk about it together.’

I definitely wasn’t going to leave it at that. Yes, I did have a lot to worry about at the moment, but I wasn’t going to lie awake wondering what the hell Sinead could know and I couldn’t. ‘Is it about Dad?’ I guessed, sighing.

‘No,’ said Sinead shortly. ‘You’ll find out later. Not now.’

‘But that’s not one bit fair!’ I protested, glaring angrily at the both of them. ‘If Sinead’s allowed know, why can’t I?’

My mam shifted uncomfortably on her chair. She bit nervously on one of her nails, something I hadn’t seen her do in absolutely ages, and vacillated for a few more moments. But, as she bit her nails, I spotted something peculiar on her left hand. It was a ring. Not the engagement ring or wedding ring that my dad had given her, but a new one. I shiny silver one with a big fat diamond. I felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn’t believe her. I really couldn’t. Why?

‘You’re getting married again, aren’t you?’ I whispered, feeling the horrible lump at the back of my throat. I didn’t even hear her reply, because I broke out in tears. I couldn’t describe the feeling. My father had only been gone for over a year and she had already moved on. She had already found a replacement. How could she? Did she even love my dad? I felt so betrayed. That’s why she had no time for Sinead and I. She was too busy with whatever lad she found. Without any further ado, I got Ryan to help me up out of the bed. I staggered out the door and towards the bathroom where I planned to cry my heart out until I had no tears left.